(mid) West Coast

Head vs Heart

2011-11-10T12:26:00.000-06:00

About a week ago I ran across this question in my quiet time. Its from a great little book my mentor gave me a while back Mystics,Mavericks and Miracle Workers: a 30-day journey with some saints. Here it is:
"In your relationship with God what has carried the most influence: feelings or intellect?"

**necessary paragraph** Obviously both are necessary. God created us as rational beings but also as emotional ones. One without the other is dangerous. We all know people who live too much in one camp or the other.

I've been wrestling through this question because I don't know how I answer this. When I think of significant moments in life, moments when the Spirit really kicks my tail, I'm finding my answer to be yes. Yes, because they influence on another. It's why it stirs so deeply inside me when it happens. And I've not yet figured out how to manipulate that or mass produce those moments. In fact the truth is the only thing I've brought to those breakthrough moments is my attention.

Combine that with the reminder these past couple weeks of just how faithful God is has my head spinning. I've grown up always looking to grow, always looking to change, always looking to become better. And I think I'm called to that to some extent. But I'm also seen as perfect by the one who knows me best. That doesn't make sense on an intellectual or emotional level. I am fully known by Him and that's not something to be ashamed of. In fact its something to embrace.

So here's to remembering again that He doesn't change. He never fails. He is always active. He is always there. And in a world where we value change, innovation, transformation and development, the greatest thing in the whole universe is the same today as He was 4000 years ago and that's a good thing. A good thing. Steady isn't always bad. And steady doesn't mean stagnant, stale or lame. It means if He is already awesome, already more than i can comprehend, already perfect than why change? It means no matter if I connect on a head level or a heart level, its tapping into what will only make sense on the other side of eternity.

Distribution vs Redistribution

2011-10-26T13:43:00.001-05:00

Sometimes I write because I am confused. My hope is that by putting some words down things will start to connect. The danger of that is when I do it in a public space, you can see how dumb I am. This might be the case here. But more on that later.

I had the chance to hang out with some incredible people last week in Indianapolis. They are the CCDA and you can learn more about them at www.ccda.org If you haven’t heard of them or their founder John Perkins, you should remedy that problem as soon as you can. They are great thinkers but more than that, they are great practitioners on their thoughts. They aren’t perfect, but they are putting their words into action on a daily basis and that’s never a bad place to live.

In the midst of hanging out with them, one of their core values kept coming up, redistribution. And that got me to thinking.

At its most basic level I got to wondering, what is the difference between distribution and redistribution?

Ok, besides the fact that one word as re on the front of it.

But that’s not a bad place to start. This prefix as they called it in my English classes is an important little thing. We in the church are very comfortable with the gifts that are ours because of re. Redeemed, restored, reconciled, removed and renewed are all Biblical concepts we’d be hopeless without. But how does that play out with distribution?

So we move to a Webster look at re to learn that it brings with it: 1. indicating return to a previous condition, restoration, withdrawal, etc: rebuild; renew; retrace; reunite 2. indicating repetition of an action: recopy; remarry

Here’s where I’m at today with all this. When I dig in scripture I don’t find the word redistribution. Not even in the Message. I do find a couple appearances by distribution. (Thanks MSG) Now the fact that I’m about to quote passages not from the NIV might make some of you uncomfortable but follow me for a second.

One is in John 3. "The One that God sent speaks God's words. And don't think he rations out the Spirit in bits and pieces. The Father loves the Son extravagantly. He turned everything over to him so he could give it away—a lavish distribution of gifts. That is why whoever accepts and trusts the Son gets in on everything, life complete and forever! “ (The Message)

Another is Acts 6. “But as the believers rapidly multiplied, there were rumblings of discontent. The Greek-speaking believers complained about the Hebrew-speaking believers, saying that their widows were being discriminated against in the daily distribution of food.” (New Living Translation)

If I am being honest, I’m confused. Here’s what I’m taking away from this as of right now though: That when it comes to redistribution, it’s not about what I accumulate, but rather how I use what I’ve been given to empower and bless not just myself. When I think like that, it starts to sound like sound stewardship. It starts to sound like the way Jesus gifts us as believers. And that starts to smack against the way I sometimes distribute things based on what I want to give up or based on what I think you deserve. Otherwise I start to sound like a selfish only child. And when I see myself as a distributor, I put myself in a position of power that isn’t mine. And it starts to sound like a bad transactional relationship. I have a shirt; you need a shirt so take it and go away. No relationship, no ongoing partnership, no looking at the other as someone with value and someone who can speak into my weaknesses with their strength.

So maybe I am trying to create a difference here that shouldn’t exist. But they are two different words thanks to re right?

Here’s what our friends at the CCDA say about redistribution and I like their words much more than mine right now.

“When men and women in the body of Christ are visibly present and living among the poor (relocation), and when people are intentionally loving their neighbor and their neighbor's family the way a person loves him or herself and family (reconciliation), the result is redistribution, or a just distribution of resources.

When God's people with resources (regardless of their race or culture) commit to living in underserved communities seeking to be good neighbors, being examples of what it means to be a follower of Christ, working for justice for the entire community, and utilizing their skills and resources to address the problems of that community alongside their neighbors, then redistribution is being practiced.

Redistribution brings the principles of Justice back to the underserved communities. Justice has left communities of color and lower economic status, leaving an unjust criminal court and prison system, unjust hiring practices, unjust housing development and injustice in the educational institutions. Justice has been available only to people with the economic means to acquire just treatment.

Redistribution brings new skills, new relationships, and new resources and puts them to work to empower the residents of a given community of need to bring about healthy transformation. This is redistribution.”

http://www.ccda.org/learn/philosophy/86-redistribution

So………

Are all mission trips created equal?

2011-07-11T21:00:00.000-05:00

It's the weekend between our 2 weeks of CIY Engage the City here in Joplin. I cannot begin to tell you all the amazing things I heard, all the powerful ways God moved and all the unexpected moments that have happened and continue to unfold each day. At some point I hope to share a few of these stories as I know these 2 weeks here this summer are something that will shape who I am for the rest of my life.

My time here has certainly shaped more of my feelings and understandings about service and about the trips we take in youth ministry. There is one glimpse I'd like to share here that might help shed some light for all of us as we think about the trips we take our students on.

I had the opportunity to meet a group here in Joplin last week that was from out of state. I don't know all the details of how they ended up in Joplin but they came with a van load, a desire to serve but little preparation. They happened to be serving at one of the locations where part of our Engage teams were serving as well. As I talked with them I learned that they had found housing at the last minute and had found this one option for serving while here in Joplin. Other than that, there was nothing "built" around their service to help the trip equip them for ways to continue to engage their own community when they got home.

I compare their experience with what we saw last week. I do not say this to toot the CIY horn by any means but hopefully to help us see that we have to be intentional with our trips. Our groups were able to engage God's word in the morning, to serve in a variety of ways during the day but most importantly to hear from the churches here in Joplin each night. Whether it was a person impacted by the tornado, a survivor, a first responder, a variety of kingdom workers or a pastor sharing how their church was helping we learned a ton about what God is doing and what he has taught each of them.

Our groups were also able to take part in a prayer journey through the city, spent a great deal of time journaling and reflecting and even a beautiful prayer wall experience. At the end of the week our groups and theirs both did work. But it was all the other details that made the trip truly memorable and equipped them with Biblical truth and principles that equip them to do kingdom work when they get home. Not only did we engage our hands but also our heads and hearts.

At the end of the day, we take our students on service and mission trips in the hopes that it teaches them things that make a difference every day of their lives. These things do not happen by accident and students (and adults for that matter) need tools to think, to listen and to process. Debrief isn't just everybody telling a funny story at the end of the night. It's the hardest and i think most vital part of the experience as we together sharpen one another and develop tangible steps on how the things we do during the day make an impact on what we will do tomorrow.

So do me a favor, think back on your latest mission trip. Can you clearly articulate things that changed for the better in the lives of your students because of their trip. This isn't just the fun things they saw and ate. This is the people they learned from, the things God showed them and the changes that happened internally and externally because they gave their time and their full energy to become stronger disciples of Jesus.

Anybody can take a trip but not every trip is really worth the investment of dollars and peoples lives. It's why I love our teams at CIY. Trust me, we have plenty of things to learn but I'm grateful for the men and women who are dedicating their lives to worrying about the details and being intentional about all the things that create environments for God's call on a students life can be clearly heard. There are things youth pastors can do that we at CIY cannot. But the reverse is also true and I hope that you will consider serving with us in the future so that together we can continue to train kingdom workers who are going to do things for God that will truly change our world.

Joplin

2011-07-01T15:51:00.000-05:00

It's been over a month since the tornado.

By now you've seen the pictures and you've heard the stats. And if you have been here you have said the same thing as everyone else, "Pictures don't tell the whole story." Each time I hear that I realize that's the same feeling those of us who live here have.

Instead of being on the road with Know Sweat this summer, I've had the chance to prepare a couple of weeks that CIY will host here called Engage the City:JLN I don't know if I can adequately explain my feelings and emotions throughout this process. Remember, this is coming from a person who's home was not damaged, who had no family harmed and didn't have their place of employment impacted either.

But as we sit just a few days from welcoming groups from as far away as Washington and New York, here are a few things I've heard or noticed.

1. Most people I interact with don't have 417 area codes on their phones.
As we put together a plan of where groups will serve, where they will eat, who they will learn from while they are here and who the go to people are, many of them have phone numbers that aren't local. It is incredible the people who have come or in some cases come back to serve. Whether its a church loaning key staff people to come and share expertise or retired teachers returning to the town they love, there are dozens of people in key roles who are real kingdom workers. They have spent days and weeks away from "life as normal" to offer vital support and infrastructure to a rebuilding effort that is going to take years.

2. Everybody wants to work, many don't want to serve
I spoke with a church yesterday so has a unique set of needs. In their words, everybody wants to do debris and construction work inside the footprint of the tornado and when they are asked to do other things they at best complain and at worst say no. Now, this isn't true for everyone but follow me for a second. For most of us we think of disaster relief as something that applies to all work done following a natural disaster. However relief last days not weeks and month. Rebuilding has more sides to it that I've yet to wrap my head around.
This church yesterday said what they need is people to serve in less glorious and behind the scenes ways. Maybe it is sorting clothes in a warehouse, maybe it is keeping that warehouse clean. Maybe it is cleaning porta potties. As they said, "For someone who is living in a tent, trying to rebuild their lives and sometimes have to go pee in the woods, a clean porta potty is a luxury. That was a perspective I hadn't thought of.

3. Multi-purpose buildings really do have multi purposes
There are countless churches in our area who are functioning as distribution centers and volunteer coordination hubs while continuing to be church buildings. This goes way beyond the tents of bottled water and clothes they are still sorting and distributing. Whether it is meeting places, shower houses, temporary lodging or sites where the temporary AT&T office can be located, they are community centers in ways never before imagined.

4. There are 2 ways to tell every story
It is true, in a fair estimate, 25% of our city was destroyed in less than an hour. It's hard to fathom just what that means. But it is also true that 75% of our town was not physically damaged by the tornado. There is untold strength and resources available and those continue to rise to the forefront as more organizations and groups pack their bags and head home or to the next site. Joplin has enormous needs but also incredible assets.

5. Our prayers have changed
Everybody tells me this. People are learning to ask for help. People are learning what's really irreplaceable. Even my kids. Brynn, our 4 year old discipleship pastor who always prays for our family at dinner has even changed her prayers. The usual things are still there, "Thanks for the food, thanks for family" etc have been joined with another prayer that comes out of her mouth differently every time but always has a common denominator "Help Joplin". What she thinks and prays about at 4 years old has changed for a long, long time. Both our kids are aware of a reality in life that smacks against the latest development on Yo Gabba Gabba or who Dora will use her map to get through the forest.

So please, don't forget Joplin. Find ways to serve it. Find ways to encourage the incredible pastors in our town. Find ways to encourage those doing kingdom work. And listen, listen for truth and understanding that you can take from those here that can impact who you are and how you engage the community you live in.

BEST DAY EVER!!!!

2011-06-10T12:42:00.001-05:00

I shared with the event staff here this week a lesson I am learning from my kids.

It seems that in our house, when the kids are having a great day, each of those days gets the same title, BEST DAY EVER!!!!and is usually accompanied by cheering and pounding of fists on a table, chair or any object close.

BEST DAY EVER!!!! status or BDE as we shall now refer to it can come about from any number of circumstances. Most of them consist of ice cream, baseball, Wii, movies, or food of any kind eaten not at home. A combination of more than one of these can result in multiple BDE exaltation's in one day.

What caught my attention however was the frequency with which these announcements were being made. As a seasoned (read old) adult, BDE announcement are few and far between. They are reserved for important life milestones like marriage, birth of children, tax refunds and well, baseball games or certain food items.

But upon further investigation, I realized my kids were teaching me a profound truth. Every day really has the potential to be a BDE, I just don't live that way. I can tell you right now the days I would forecast would be a BDE but those days rarely just show up. For my kids though, each day is ripe with the promise of becoming the latest BDE.

I think they have tapped into something deeper though. The thing that makes today good, bearable, worth getting out of bed for or dare I say hopeful is something that was solved thousands of years ago on a cross. Since that is figured out, today really is the BDE. If that isn't solved, no amount of ice cream, baseball games, family movie nights complete with popcorn AND candy could make it good. Just think about it. If things are not well with my soul, what I do and what happens means jack nothing.

So here's to my kids for teaching me. And here's to us living each day like it is a BDE because it is. Even if junk happens. Even if we don't get our way. Even if we don't enjoy some of the moments in that day, it's still awesome.

Why I'm Not Talking Smack to Ohio State Fans

2011-05-31T12:32:00.000-05:00

Over the weekend I happened to notice in a couple media sources that Ohio State's football coach had reigned. By now we all know why and saw this moment coming over the past few weeks. He joins a (unfortunately) growing line of "cheaters" or people aware of serious infractions of NCAA rules. However as much as I don't root for Ohio State, I'm not very happy about this.

One report I saw showed the 5 or 6 coaches who have made the most BCS appearances. I don't remember the exact list and I'm too lazy to Google it but the names I remember were Jim Tressel, Bobby Bowden, Bob Stoops, Pete Carroll and Frank Beamer. Each of these coaches has been wildly successful and if my memory serves me well, has all been accused of some level of NCAA violations and rule bending. Here's what I'm getting at, the old adage "If you ain't cheating, you ain't trying" no longer covers the problems. Winning is now everything and winning at all costs drives men to poor decisions too often. Do I think the coaches on that list are crooks. Uh, do I have to answer that? Actually though, no I don't. There are a couple I wouldn't let my son play for but there are some that I think are great leaders and for the most part run great programs. And for some of them the issues aren't things they initiated. Sometimes great leaders still have poor decision makers around them.

Here's why all this bothers me though, because my 8 year old son is learning more about sports than I'd like from all this. Our beloved Oregon Ducks played for the National Title last year (against a team that has had at least one question raised about them) and I don't believe for a second we didn't find some way to "interpret the system" to make it that far. Sure our uniforms are amazing. Sure Oregon is the finest State in America. But kids don't show up in Eugene because Autzen Stadium is the best ever and they care more about the offensive system than the campuses proximity to the beach. Heck, we already got busted for overpaying a "recruiter" in Texas in the off season.

So one reason I'm throwing no rocks at OSU fans right now is because they'd be lobbing them back at me once we find out it's not just Chip Kelly's amazing offense that landed us in the title game.

What I wrestle with though is what to teach Carter. Don't get me wrong, I know what to teach him. What I mean is how do I handle it once we fall from grace? What deeper lessons is he learning about cheating and competition? I don't think the response is block all 45 ESPN channels we have. I don't think it's to deny it or mock those that fall. But am I the only one that is bothered that the old adage "cheaters never prosper" isn't entirely true anymore. Sure, coaches give up National Titles or lose their jobs but you can't tell me their bank accounts are hurting. Sure, they lose face for a time period but its funny how eventually most of them end up coaching again or become a talking head the next season for ESPN.

So I have no solution for this. Yet. But I know that even though he's 8 I'd be a fool to not start a simple conversation with him about all this. Why? Because he has already put together that since that Bautista character in Toronto is hitting so many home runs "He must be on steroids like Sosa and McGwire." That by the way was his direct quote. Maybe my kid is just a bit crazy about sports (I blame his mom) but he's already drawing some conclusions I'm not comfortable with.

And by the way, I was joking about his mom. Just want to make sure we are clear on that.

Will Know Sweat Run Weeks in Joplin This Summer

2011-05-24T18:06:00.000-05:00

It has been a few days since the tornado and even as we wait for more storms to potentially arrive tonight, it is still hard to wrap my mind around the destruction. It's hard to know how hard places all over have been hit and even as I write this there are new tornado's hitting our neighboring state of Oklahoma. Overall, it's been moving to see the response to help and I'm impressed with how quickly things have mobilized.

I've also heard from dozens of great friends who want to know how to help. At the risk of sounding like one more person adding to the twitter feeds, let me share my perspective and answer questions about if Know Sweat will run weeks here this summer.

The reality is, there is work that will need to be done in Joplin for months and months. We certainly will need people to come and help, especially once the initial rush of workers comes. Right now, there is lots that could be done but little that can be done. As they lock down neighborhoods and continue to look at what damage has been done there is not a lot of hands on work that can be accomplished.

We are blessed with some amazing local churches who are working together to mobilize groups. There is a lot of conversations happening about opening doors to groups this summer etc. There are good people wrestling through how to do this in a way that not only helps those from out of town serve but also allows them to do work that actually matters and can really be a blessing.

Right now the best resources coming in are the truckloads of supplies being delivered that allow people to have food, water, clothing and supplies that they need. Those with the financial abilities to give are also blessing the churches and ministries here with finances that will continue to provide the needed resources in the future.

As I have looked around the last couple days I am moved at all the cities I am seeing that have sent workers and it is incredible to realize that each of those vehicles represents men and women giving up vacation days to come to the city to serve. What I have witnessed is that they are able to stay busy and work randomly at different locations when they are able to navigate through the security roadblocks.

So you didn't ask but here's what I would suggest to you. Send supplies and money as you can. In regards to sending workers can you wait a few weeks? Can you know that you will send a group but can you give the emergency workers time to sort through the wreckage and decipher what big plan will be put in motion. Once that plan is in place, trust me, there will be plenty of opportunities to come to Joplin and serve. I'm confident there will be opportunities to serve even next summer. But right now send supplies as you can. Pray all the time and continue to think about those that have lost so much. It's hard to imagine but basic communication is difficult. Cell phones are spotty, email is down for much of the city so give the men and women the time they need to build a plan and once that is in place, let's talk about mobilizing teams.

3 Things You Need to Know More About: Birds, Solidarity and Swimming

2011-04-06T11:50:00.001-05:00

One of the best parts of working with Know Sweat is that we daily have the chance to run into incredible people. Some are ministries we partner with, some are students and leaders who attend our events and some are just incredible people doing faithful kingdom work. In this post I want to highlight 3 of these partners in ministry that I get excited by every time I talk with, partner with or think about them.

1. Birds of Hope
If you haven't met this ministry yet, you need to. This is two incredible young ladies to came to our event in Kissimmee last summer. They were moved to do something about the water crisis Zambia and decided that the one skill (I venture to say they've got quite a few) was sewing. So they began crafting these little birds that they sell for $5 each. That all started back in July. As of today, they have reached almost $15,000 in money raised! Yeah, I know it is incredible. They have some huge opportunities in front of them but each time I tell their story I am reminded of just how much God can do with what might seem like a simple skill. Their partnership with ActiveWater is amazing and I cannot wait to see where this goes.
So check them out on facebook.Better yet, buy some birds. www.facebook.com/birdsofhope

2. Solidarity
This summer we launch our new Know Sweat week in Fullerton, CA. This week promises to be pretty incredible and one partnership we will begin is with a ministry called Solidarity. I can't begin to explain just how unique and exciting their work is. I'm inspired by their vision, encouraged by their wisdom and blown away at their honest and sincere ministry they do each day. I don't even know all they are a part of but I'm honored that KS has the chance to be taught and guided by what they are doing. You can check them out on facebook and the web as well. I recommend their new promo video which is very solid.
On facebook search : Solidarity Live Christ
Or on the web: www.solidarityrising.org

3. Swim to Chicago
This one is a bit more indirect than the other two. Last year all of CIY partnered with Active:Water to raise awareness for the water crisis in Zambia. If you haven't seen Zambia's Song yet, the documentary CIY created, shame on you. Go find it. But as Active:Water continues to raise awareness, their leader Daren Wendell has taken on a new challenge. Walking across the U.S. was one thing he has already conquered. Now, it is to swim across Lake Michigan non-stop all the way to Chicago.How far is that? 40 miles. Non-stop. Daren is training non-stop and is looking for investors, partners and people to spread the word. I suggest you check him out on facebook too.
www.facebook.com/swimtochicago
Or here:
http://www.active.com/donate/activewaterupick/SwimToChicago
www.activewater.com

My response to the National Championship

2011-04-05T16:45:00.000-05:00

First I want to say congrats to my beloved Oregon Ducks men's basketball team that ran the gauntlet known as the CBI Tournament presented by Zebra Pen. The list of daunting foes is impressive: Weber State, Duquesne, Boise State (Take that smurf turfers) and Creighton in a best of three showdown.

I hope you sense the wide brush with which I am applying my sarcasm to this.

In the "Fact that don't mean crap" realm, VCU did parlay their CBI Tourny championship into a Final Four appearance in the real tournament this year. I do not expect that for Oregon. Not unless we start paying for recruits in basketball as much as we do in football.

But oh, you logged in to see my response to the National Championship. Here's what I think.

1. I only watched the last 8 minutes so to me it seemed like an okay game.From what I hear, I didn't miss much.
2. For those of us who moan about a playoff for football, maybe we know not what we ask for.
3. Congrats to both teams for making it. You beat every opponent put before you. If people don't like that, maybe their favorite team should pay for better recruits too.

4. I am sad to see both teams struggled so much. It happens. Was it a lame culmination? Sure, how dare these 19-21 year olds not deliver as good a product as the SCRIPTED AND FIXED NBA does each playoff season. Nonetheless, they deserved to be there. No poll gave them that game and no man made computer generated completely arbitrary and biased towards big conferences system made us have this game.And what did you expect, another epic showdown ending with a "what could have been" half-court three point miss?
5. For most of us, we are just upset our team wasn't there and our bracket had more red marks than our last math test.
6. I'd still rather have had that tournament than what the Bowls give us each season or any other scenario we might come up with.
7. And finally, I hope this shows the NCAA that a 128 team tournament is a horrible idea.

So here's to 100 more years of Zebra Pen's and the CBI Tournament!

Learning from my mistakes #3: Standing Up For Myself

2011-03-31T09:27:00.001-05:00

I absolutely love the street we live on. Well, except for that huge section where the blacktop got torn up so its not just gravel and makes a huge mess. But besides that I'm a big fan.

One of the best parts is all the kids. There is rarely a day where our doorbell doesn't ring and somebody is down wanting to play with our kids. I love the interaction he has with them and the little ways they set up kickball games or recreate Bulls and Celtics basketball games.

Occasionally, okay just about every time, somebody ends up getting mad at somebody else and they quit playing. At least for as long as 8 to 11 year old boys can stay mad. Then they realize being in the house with mom and dad is lame and strike a new peace accord.

Last week Ang and I were talking with Carter because he's learning the lifelong lesson called "Being a Leader, Being a Follower". Since he's the youngest, he does more of the latter and less of the former and we'd like. Sometimes this means our toys get broken, sometimes this means they say mean things to each other or Brynn and sometimes it is just kids being kids. My personal favorite is how those kids run like our family has the plague as soon as we say "Time to clean up the toys."

So in the midst of this impromptu John Maxwell leadership lesson at our dining room table, we encouraged Carter to stand up to his friends. Through tears he said "But if I tell them to stop, they might get mad and leave."

Now, being all knowing, we realize this is not true. As mentioned before, being at home with mom and dad is lame. But I get where the manchild was coming from. Sometimes speaking our mind or setting boundaries is tough and sometimes, those friends don't come back.

Which makes you wonder how good of a friend they were.

Could it be that part of friendship is being able to set and respect boundaries with each other? As a person who for far too long hated confrontation and was a people-pleaser too often I too sat knowing I should speak up but was more content with the discontent of the moment than I was with saying what needed to be said.

It's a good thing I've figured this all out now isn't it? I assume the same is true for you.

Learning from my mistakes #2: Dirty Looks

2011-03-30T20:25:00.002-05:00

It was the last Friday of February and I decided it was time to renew the tags on my car at the DMV. Yeah, I know I'd had the paperwork on it for over a month. It wasn't technically the last day of the month but it was the end of a long week and I figured what better way to cap a busy and stressful week than to hang out at the DMV on Friday afternoon right? It's true, I DO know how to party.

So after finding out I didn't have all the right paperwork (I've only lived here for 6 years so I'm still new at this whole thing) I headed over to the courthouse to secure the document saying that I was in deed a tax paying citizen of Missouri.

However once I talked with the lady I found out I indeed was not yet a tax paying citizen. The lady behind the desk was, well, not as helpful as I'd like and I was annoyed. She then asked me for the paperwork I was referring to which I of course had left in my car. The whole interchange was about as awkward and unproductive as that one time I tried to ask out a cheerleader.

So in much the same level of frustration I gave her the meanest look I could and said dismissively as I walked out the door "Thanks so much." At least on this occasion I didn't do anything overtly rude, I was just a jerk and by the time I was halfway home I knew it.

Since it was Friday afternoon when all this happened, I had all weekend to stew on the fact that I'd not handled the situation well and when I really thought about it, I was the person who was in the wrong. To make it worse I realized on Monday I was going to have to go back into the same office and face the same lady and still needed to pay my taxes. What's worse than one bad interaction with a person? Well, two of them would qualify in my book!

So Monday afternoon I prepared myself to eat some humble pie. I decided I would own up to being a turd and take whatever punishment was mine. And I would pay my taxes.

Monday afternoon arrived and as I opened the door to the room, I realized I was not the only person in the room with my nemesis. Turns out she'd done something to anger the woman across the counter from her. This lady was going off on the courthouse worker. I mean, it was epic. Like, you know when you have a dream of going off on that one person you are mad at and you imagine saying everything you are thinking and finally finding the justice you've been without? Yeah, this lady was doing that.

If there was an academy award for "best performance at the courthouse" this woman would win. She'd probably have earned best art direction, best makeup, best direction and earned the supporting actor role as well. I mean this in all respect, it was amazing. Now, it was inappropriate, she looked ridiculous but holy cow, she got her money's worth. When she was done being baby Mt. Vesuvius, she stormed out of the room and left me with my friend who I'd had the run in with on Friday.

"Well." I thought. "That certainly set me up to look nice."

The lady looked up from her paperwork and led with this question, "So, are you in a bad mood today too?"

Let's just say I had scripted how this reconciliation was going to go and things were waaaay off script by this point.

"No, I'm not but I was on Friday and I'm certain I was a big jerk to you so I want to apologize." I said.

For a brief second she looked at me and then responded, "Honey, I don't even remember you. What are you here for today?"

It clicked in that brief moment that all that I had beaten myself up over didn't matter. Had I come in today without a desire to apologize, I would have gotten away with it because she didn't even recognize me. That's great I guess but it doesn't account for the fact that I still hadn't handled myself in the right way.

So in the end, I got back on the right side of the law, regained a friend at the courthouse and owned up, whether I had to or not, for having a bad attitude. Mind you, I'd done nothing "wrong" I'd just not shown another human the dignity they deserved and I'd taken my frustration at myself out on the wrong person.

So here's to owning up to our own messes. Here's to treating everyone with respect. And here's to making sure we slow down to realize that everyone we have interaction with matters and deserves our best, not just the people above us on the social ladder that we want to respect us.

And the rest of the story? On my way out the door, the police officer who runs security in the lobby of the courthouse leaned in the door as I was walking out and said with a smile on his face, "Could you guys quit pissing people off in here today?"

Learning from my mistakes #1 : Cussing

2011-03-30T20:04:00.002-05:00

I have to admit as I logged in to post this, I saw that picture of the grilled cheese burger from my previous post. Wow, I'm hungry now.

So last week was Carter's spring break. Ang had a very wise idea to not just sit around the house eating bon bon's and catching up on the latest season of Real Housewives but instead do some Home Improvement.

I know, this is all starting to make sense already isn't it?

So one of the projects she had me working on was a minor face lift to our guest bathroom. Instead of spending ridiculous amounts of cash, we opted for some well-chosen changes that together made a big difference. On this particular day I had built/replaced/repaired a number of things and to this point was batting 1.000. For those of you who don't know sports, I was perfect.

I'd replaced the TP hangar, put in a new towel rack and was now on to installing the new light fixture. Let's just say (and yes, I did turn the power off before I started) that things didn't go perfectly. And let's go on to say that I didn't run my reaction through the WWJD filter. And let's finish up by saying that my wonderful 8 year old son heard a couple words usually reserved for those moments when the censor guy at ESPN doesn't hit mute quick enough during games.

I knew right away I'd messed up. Ang quickly summoned Carter upstairs before any eternal damage was done and I finished my project.

But it kept bothering me. Because I'd seen this play out before. Only I was the kid.

I've said before, I inherited my temper or at least caught how to handle frustrating situations. Mind you, this is not how I handle every stressful situation. That would have ended my youth ministry career quickly and left me with nothing but 15 minutes of YouTube fame.

So what got me is I know I can handle myself. Sometimes I don't.

So I did what my dad never did. I went and got Carter and sat down on the steps and talked with him. Now let me be clear, I have an awesome father. I'm blessed and wouldn't trade a thing but here's the deal. He's not perfect. And neither am I. And my son needs to know that.

And even more than that, he needed me to apologize. So we talked it out and I admitted I was being less then super. I told him that wasn't how we handle ourselves and I wanted him to learn sooner than I did how to deal with moments when things don't go as planned.

But I also wanted him to know that I'm not perfect. I'm trying. But I will make mistakes and what makes us better people is not pretending to be perfect or living in such a way where things are easy but in admitting our mistakes, learning from them and doing our best to never repeat them.

By the way, the light looks incredible and it made the next 4 hours of installing the new faucet a great opportunity to practice what I had just preached. Happy to announce it was a success. There were a couple close calls though.....

On why I hate hybrids

2011-03-22T10:36:00.004-05:00

Maybe it's just me but I'm growing a little tired of all this hybrid talk. I know, I'm supposed to be a treehugger and all so how can I not love these little electric gizmos?

Well to be fair, I'm not against the car. In fact I've never driven one. I had the chance once when renting a car in Denver but they told me I had to go through a brief training period on how to use it. Uh, no thanks. I know how to drive and when I'm in town to get to work, the last thing I want to do is hang out at Enterprise getting my "how to drive a hybrid" certification. If that's what it takes to rent one of those things, give me the SUV. And not one of those stupid Hybrid SUV's. That's just ridiculous, that's like a veggie burger. Oh wait, nevermind, I love those things--why would anyone ever eat beef?

So I have some serious questions about hybrids. I will freely admit I am skeptical of them and their "good" they supposedly do. Plus I don't think my electric bill could accomodate one. But in the end if you want to drive a Prius, go for it.

The hybrid I'm getting tired of is the term. It seems like everywhere I turn now, hybrid is the new term for compromise between two terms or ideas that can't mesh. It sounds a little like this.

"I like both ideas, so what about a hybrid where we have a little of both." Sounds great. Seriously, it sounds like a great idea. Here's the thing, most of the time, when two people can't agree its because their ideas are different. Sure, meshing them might make it dynamic. Or it might make it a hot mess. Two ideas crammed into one implementation is not always the way to success.

Now to be fair, I love the idea of compromise. I'm all about keeping the peace in meetings and everyone leaving feeling warm and fuzzy. It's just that sometimes that's not an option.

In my opinion, and that's entirely what this is, its our desire to create hybrids that's gotten us in so much trouble. It seems as though we lack the intestinal fortitude to stand by a decision so we try to make a groupthink collective that ends up looking like a bad stew.

In the end, all I'm saying is that there is a time for a combination of ideas such as the grilledcheeseburger. But there are other times where let's just do one or the other and not try to mesh things. I guess I like the old Revelation idea of being hot or cold because lukewarm ain't that great.

So here's to having an idea and sticking with it, maybe even fighting for it because to compromise it might just make it lame.

Incomplete thoughts on poverty, part 3

2011-03-07T15:56:00.003-06:00

I am going to warn you, my thought process is all over the place in this post. If that doesn't scare you off, at least consider yourself warned.

I have some friends who are going through hard times right now. I think about them often, even have some reminders set up so that throughout my day I can stop and pray for them. For one, I just got done writing them a quick email to let them know they were in my thoughts and prayers.

I didn't send the email for quite a while because I wasn't sure if it would make any difference.

Have you ever wondered that? Like, if you are going through a hard time does it mean anything if you get 4 people saying they are praying for you verses 40? I guess that's kind of extreme. Maybe I am weird, but there are certain people I EXPECT to hear from and then the others are nice. What kind of a judgmental creep does this make me?!

Maybe this comes from my years as a pastor where I would go do hospital calls (when they made me) and people would thank me for coming but want to know when the senior pastor was coming. Like I brought the JV prayer squad but they can't wait for the All Pro. But I know I've acted that way before too.

So then I wondered if I was sending the email because it made me feel better. Like in some water cooler conversation someone would ask if I had heard about the situation and I could now self-righteously comment "Yeah, I sent them an email." and the other people would be shamed at their sinfulness or amazed at my piety.

Now the reality is not every need I hear about I can personally respond nor do people want me to. There are people in my life though the moment something hits the fan I will drop everything to be there with them. For others, I mourn, grieve, hurt or sympathize from a distance.

On a separate but related issue(at least in my mind), I wonder about those that we try to serve that are needy. Maybe I am confessing that much of my "selfless service" is a lot more selfish than I want to admit. I just wonder if our way of caring for them or letting them know we are aware of their need is done in a way that they can appreciate or that really speaks to the situation.

Sure, we respond but we've done so on our schedule and in some level of convenience to us. I always think of Job's friends who drop everything and come and just sit. They don't talk, they just sit in some sort of quiet solidarity.

I guess what I'm saying is what we've heard a number of times, that we too quickly say things like I'll pray for you or you are in my thoughts. What if those words meant as much to the person as they do to us when we say them. I'm willing to admit if you are that I've told someone I will pray for them and then never done it.

So how do we raise the conversation out of the christianese and into reality that is meaningful and helpful. In the meantime, I'll keep praying for my friends and doing my best to mean what I say.

Incomplete thoughts on poverty, part 2

2011-03-03T10:04:00.002-06:00

This thought is so incomplete, it is actually 3 peoples thoughts put together at one time. What you or I do with them is up to us now.

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do." -Mark Twain

"The opposite of love is not hatred; it is indifference. When we have learned indifference, when we are really skilled and determined at the business of ignoring others, of putting our own well-being, our own options first--of thrusting our own ego into life, as the ideal form of life itself--we may be quite certain that at that point, life has become hell. We need be no more thoroughly damned."
--Daniel Berrigan

"Strangely enough, the havoc wreaked by indifference may be even 'greater than that brought by felt, lived, practiced hatred.'" --Miroslav Volf

The difference between a kind act and determined effort to solve a problem through action is becoming bigger to me every day. At least for me I am more and more convicted by the fact that I am aware of a lot of things that bother me, but I've found a way to file them in some part of my brain that isn't usually associated with action. Could it be that my inaction is actually worse than joining in with the practices I hate?

Incomplete thoughts on povery, part 1.

2011-02-17T14:41:00.004-06:00

I picked up an "old" book I read a couple years back that is once again wreaking havoc in my mind. The New Friars by Scott Bessenecker is a powerful read and helpful as I continue to wrestle through all things Know Sweat and the issue of poverty in particular.

Here's just one part of a paragraph that has stopped me in my tracks today:
"Part of the reason poverty feels so intractable is because there is a conscious spiritual force committed to keeping people bound in states of oppression.....When you're desperate or even angry there is at least a shred of hope that things might be different, a holy discontent. But despair is what happens when you're tired of being desperate." : Page 57

From my comfortable middle-class life, its hard to truly understand a life in poverty. I am guilty of thinking I understand it when I make a brief foray into poverty for a day. A week. A summer. But in the end I'm not really there because I'm around it but not in it. At any moment I have the escape clause ready to pull me back out to "safety".. And yet I have the audacity to think I'm "helping".

I grateful for people's paths I have crossed in the past months as they've shed light on the path and spoken truth. Still, I am confused. How do we best help "the least of these" and see them as peers, as just as divine and worthy as we see ourselves, rather than as projects or object lessons or slide shows?

On Getting Older

2011-01-26T16:16:00.003-06:00

The other night my buddy Molesky and I played Call of Duty online. I'm sure if there had been a camera in the room you'd have laughed yourself silly watching my figure out how to play my PS3 online. I had no clue and had Mo not been able to create the connection, I'd still be trying to figure it out. I like to consider myself pretty savvy, I even know how to turn my ipad on, but in the end, I'm beginning to realize that technology is on an evolutionary advance plan that at some point is going to pass me by.

Yesterday I got to go see the Doctor. Nothing major, they just wanted to check me and to figure out how one guy gets this good looking. Or that's what I told myself.

But waiting in the waiting room I realized there were roughly 25 of us and 3 of us didn't have gray hair. Well, I guess I should qualify that because I'm bald so that makes me old too. Let's say that only 3 of us did not qualify for AARP, a social security check and anyway....

I listened to one group of three talking about faith. One of the guys was a retired preacher and he was talking about his church. Their talk eventually transitioned into the fact that one of the other men liked Joel Osteen.

On a sidelight I learned that no matter your age, conversations about Joel O are never dull.

There was another older couple watching the TV in the waiting room and they spent the time bemoaning the fact that TV ain't like it used to be. Turns out Andy Griffith was the pinnacle for TV. Originally the one lady was adamant it was Andy Williams. Once the figured out it was Griffith they moved on to the problems with TV.

Now, I agree, TV isn't all that edifying often. But that's not the point of this post. But if you are wondering , the Real Housewives shows are stupid.

Here's what I've taken from the last 48 hours. We all get old.

In our own way we age, and at some point our methodology, theology, preferences and attitudes stick on a particular set and stop moving. We find that thing that brings us happiness and everything for the rest of time gets measured against that. Our knowledge base gets exhausted and we spend the rest of the time wondering why things aren't like they used to be. At some point whether it's a laptop, a cell phone, the microwave or the ignition for our car, we wonder how to operate the darn thing and why they have to make it so technical. At some point we start using something in its most basic way while ignoring all of the "extras" that it now comes with that those young whippersnappers are raving about.

My grandma used a microwave the same way every time until she died. She put whatever it was in there, typed 5 minutes and watched it till she was happy with the level of defrost, cook, melt or nuke she saw. She didn't need a defrost, a popcorn, a keep warm or a turntable button. She needed a 5, a 0 and a start button.

Some peoples TV need a power button and a channel and volume up and down. DVR? Never heard of it. Program guides? That's why they buy TV Guide. Pay Per View movies? That's what Blockbuster is down the road for. You get the point.

Don't you think all of "them" said the same thing "we" are saying now? "I'll never get old, I'm never going to be like them." Yeah, let me know how that works out for you. Just remember to call me on my rotary phone because I don't know how Skype works.

So what's the point of this post? I don't know. I guess it is to recognize reality. It's to make myself aware that there are some things that I want to keep changing as I get older. Some things can stay the same. But I DON'T want to keep thinking and acting the same way I do right now up until I take my last breath. When it comes to video games its not a big deal. But when it comes to my attitude and perspective on things that DO matter, I think it does.

So here's to staying young. Now I need to go fire up my dial up connection so I can put this thing on that WWW thing.

What Makes A Winner?

2011-01-24T09:44:00.004-06:00

Carter and I sat and watched the NFL games this weekend.Turns out my predictions were right, it is the Steelers and Packers. Why did I pick them? Well for one, I can't stand the Jets. But really, I picked them because they are winners. The Bears and Jets? The seem to have a knack for coming up short, just like my Ducks and Blazers often do.

Now without turning this into a bash on teams that lose a lot I have been wondering what makes up a winner?

If you take a minute, you can list the teams in each sport that always seem to win. Duke, New York Yankees, Pittsburgh Steelers, Detroit Red Wings. Los Angeles Lakers. They are a select group. But every time your team plays them you know you think "We're screwed." If your team draws them in the playoffs or the tournament you immediately start thinking about what the next season will bring.

On the contrary there are teams who seem awesome but can't seem to win the big one. The Baltimore Ravens, New York Jets, Denver Nuggets, Dallas Mavericks, Los Angeles Dodgers, Cleveland Indians, Kansas City Royals, Texas basketball. Now, I'm not trying to take shots at your favorite team. Some of these have even been winners at times but in those cases it is the exception rather than the norm.

So what makes a winner? How much does culture really play a part. Sometimes its just flat money that helps, other times it just seems like a persona. Same with teams that just flat out are horrible. It's a culture thing.

Raiders, Clippers, Pirates, Orioles. You know they are bad and even when they are good you know it is a fluke and by next year things will be back where they belong. They try all sorts of approaches but the results are always the same.

What I'm thinking is this, a culture of winning is a perfect mix of leadership and solid players. You can drop an amazing coach in a situation and get crap--just ask Bill Parcells. But you can sign tons of great players and get junk too--just ask the Blazers or Redskins.

So here's to realizing that whether its our home, our church, or whatever we do, excellence starts with us. It's not always about winning. In fact why we respect these teams isn't because they win everything every year, its because for the most part they are predictable....predictably great. What needs to change where we are so that excellence is the norm year in and year out rather than making one historic run of greatness every 25 years?

Turns Out We All Suck At The Same Stuff

2011-01-18T12:41:00.007-06:00

Currently Listening to: American Slang by The Gaslight Anthem

For the past hour or so I've had the "opportunity"to read through a bunch of application and reference forms for potential Know Sweat interns. I actually enjoy the process quite a bit but it can get a bit tedious and my personal track record is that I'm average at best at judging character from sheets of paper. Whenever our team finally has what we affectionately call "The Selection Show" to pick them, my hope is that I'm not too high or too low on somebody everybody else feels strongly about in the opposite direction. That happened once, and I made the final call.

And I was wrong.

That being said, anytime you ask people to evaluate others on a 1-5 scale you end up with people who are all 5's and people who don't seem to have any areas of weakness. It gets comical to me how similar everything looks and sounds after a while. This year I made some notes and here's what it seems like every college student can be described as.

They struggle in stressful situations, seem to lack some self-confidence and could really benefit from more life experience.

Hmmmm, well from that description it sounds like everybody I know. Clearly we once again did not get any former Presidents, CEO's of major corporations and no retired military leaders. Of course they struggle under stress and could benefit from more experiences. By the way, they are college students!

Now please understand, I get what we are saying here but when I think about it these are issues we are going to wrestle with for a long time. The polar opposite of this person is stress-less, over confident and has seen and done everything. Quite honestly that person would annoy me. More than anything.

So here's my thought about all this rambling. Here's to thinking about some people we want to invest in. How can we help them get better in these 3 areas. We all know somebody and we can do something to encourage them or spur them on. And for us personally, what are you doing to better yourself in those 3 areas? Because I know me and I could always improve at handling stress, being a bit more confident and challenging myself to attempt new adventures.

Here's to changing.

MLK

2011-01-17T12:07:00.003-06:00

I confess that though I'm a history lover, I did not grow up caring much about the Civil Rights Movement. I don't remember it being taught much in school and I only heard what was filtered to me by teachers and other adults in my life. In a totally non CQ way, I remember being afraid to visit my Grandpa and Grandma Gilchrist because they lived in the "ghetto". I went to an all white private school partially because my folks didn't want me to go to the predominantly Asian high school that was the magnet school in my neighborhood.

Please hear me, I was not raised poorly and I did not grow up the least bit racist. However, there is more in my opinion than just not being something, I was and I suppose still today am not the best at interacting with those that are not white and middle class. There are a lot of barriers in life I have learned and skin color is probably one of the easiest to navigate.

I'm grateful thanks to what I do that I've had to be in a lot of different situations, that I've had the chance to meet and learn from people I would have never otherwise met. What I've learned is there are some amazing people out there and I've yet to meet a person who can't teach me something and hasn't made my life better. I can only hope they feel the same about me.

Probably my favorite city where I've had the chance to learn and be stretched is Memphis. I love that city. Everybody on our team does. We love the atmosphere, the food, the culture, the food, the BBQ but especially the people. Some of the finest people I know live in that city.

A while back I was there for a set up trip and my friend Tom and I had the chance to go through the Civil Rights Museum there. You see the room MLK was staying in when he was assassinated. You walk across the street and stand where the shooter probably did. You stand on the bus Rosa Parks made her stand, well, her sit, on. It's not a "fun" experience but it is moving.

So today we honor MLK. We will probably see part of that great speech, ESPN will play a bunch of basketball games which doesn't make much sense to me, but usually it doesn't cause much of reflection time for me. Until this year.

The picture I posted for this post is from a project Carter did for school. For some reason its struck a deep chord in me. I love the glimpse into his heart, I love what he's thinking and I think it is exactly what Dr. King was after. I'm sure he knew some of what he was doing that day on the Mall. I'm sure he had no idea what he was doing that day as well. I know he didn't give it so that my son and I could talk about his school project. However..... What I love about it is that it's not perfect and some ideas aren't the best. But its a starting place for a 7 1/2 year old. I know I didn't think that way at that age. Dreaming isn't always about having the perfect idea, its about casting a vision others can join and together something amazing happens.

So here's to thinking today. Here's to addressing the judgmental ideas inside our own hearts. Here's to remembering a leader, a pastor, a man who was not perfect but painted a picture of beauty and called us to something richer than what we knew or even know now. It's a lot bigger than Oprah having her own TV network. It's even bigger than Obama in the White House. It's best when it changes the way you and I think and act today. Here's to a dream, here's to calling kids to think now about what they can do for others. Who can you challenge today that might do things we never dreamed of tomorrow? That seems like something worth dedicating some time to.

Mind Games

2011-01-13T08:43:00.004-06:00

Currently Listening to: Out of the Shadows by Matthew Perryman Jones

Possibly because I am an introvert, I think about things more than some. I am notoriously slow at processing information in the heat of the moment but give me a few hours to think and I can come up with a halfway decent answer.

I was reminded of this yesterday when I had to take a short drive. There is something about the open road that helps my mind find traction and before I know it I have an idea or two swimming in my head. That is probably another reason why Ang sometimes complains I'm not the most conversational when take a trip.

This all started years ago when I was in college and would make the 100 mile drive from Moberly to Quincy to do weekend youth ministry. Those minutes uninterrupted became for me the best time to write sermons, think strategically and put plans together.

These days I don't have much free time like that. It's true, I do spend my fair share of hours on planes and on the road but they don't seem to be quite the same. Maybe its the ipad that keeps me from being thoughtful these days.

I say all that to ask us a question. When do we think and what do we need to schedule into our lives to have some time with our thoughts long enough to put a plan together. I personally hate nothing more than feeling frantic or stressed and feeling like I have to make decisions in a rush. It seems like that is when I make most of my mistakes.

The thing is thoughts can be very powerful for good or for bad. It takes hard work to keep them useful.

Last summer I got to head to Oregon to hang out with my friends on the MOVE team. One night Matt Proctor who's the President of a college here in town was speaking and he talked about how we choose to make bad decisions. Every once in a while I'm a sucker for a snappy way of saying something and he said our thought process usually goes, "Hesitate, contemplate, negotiate, participate." Makes total sense to me, I've followed that path many times. Now follow me, this isn't just on major things, this is sometimes just a selfish decision or one that doesn't alter my eternal destiny as much as it is a shortcut or a prideful move. I'd go so far as to say I don't think you can commit a sin you didn't think about beforehand.

A while ago I was talking with a friend at work and I said to him that in my opinion there is no more powerful weapon in Satan's arsenal than our power to justify. It just seems to me that we sometimes make something seem okay in our head and that's the worst thing we could do.

So here's to a couple of things. One, let's find some time where we can get some peace and quiet and sort through our thoughts. Maybe its a nice drive, some time in nature or whatever. And second, here's to owning up to the fact that most of the dumb stuff we do that we regret afterward was a conscious decision. It's time to turn our minds loose being creative towards our future instead of allowing it to be used for our destruction.

The Bible and the Oregon Ducks

2011-01-11T16:09:00.003-06:00

It's true, I've not written in a while.

This thought has been bugging me for the past few days. I kept trying to figure out why I had nothing to say and then it hit me. I'd been reading virtually nothing. At least for me if I'm not putting anything in my head to force me to think, I seem to sink to a pretty mundane level.

To be fair, I've been reading a lot. Most of it had to do with the BCS game and all sorts of things about bloggers had to say, most of which ended up being so far away from the truth it is a shame they get paid to write.

The problem for me is the longer I don't write, the harder it is to start writing again. Hence why there is a gap on this blog of a few years where it seems I had nothing to say. So though this post might not inspire you to stick with your New Year's Resolution, it is for me a reentry into posting.

So like I said, I've been reading but not any of the books I said I'd conquer over Christmas. In the end, most of my reading has been the mental equivalent of cotton candy. It looks good, is pretty enjoyable to devour but when I'm done I've got nothing but a sugar high and some junk in my teeth.

So this week I've been landing in a chapter of the Psalms that I can't seem to wrap my head around. I guess if we were to keep things in the realm of food, it would be the equivalent of a Snickers bar. It's chewy, its good and it keeps me running for a while. To be honest, I don't understand a lot of it but there is one verse in particular that I really like. The version I'm using is the ESV because, well, that's what my youversion was last set to. So here goes, Psalm 26:3

³For your steadfast love is before my eyes,
and I walk in your faithfulness.

The whole chapter is pretty nifty. I'd say it's a worthy read but that one particular verse has me going right now.

Maybe its the simple but profound truth it speaks of that I like. In the midst of way too much hype about a game, uniform colors and who's dad did or didn't get money under the table, it's a reminder to me.

If you were to answer how that verse is true for you, what would you say?

I know my answer and part of it is that terrific little boy who sat with with us big boys and watched the game. The same one who shed some tears as that kicked sailed through the uprights to crush a dream. The same one who came downstairs this morning covered head to toe with Ducks stuff ready to talk about next year.

Not a bad reminder that I'm blessed. Not a bad example of moving on and moving forward and realizing that in the midst of all things each day is ripe with new hope.

So there you go. It's me, back. And no, God doesn't give the slightest rip about the BCS. He wasn't on either teams side and I don't think Oregon makes my life any better, richer or hopeful. But its fun to follow, its fun to share that passion with my family and its best to have the daily reminder that God is faithful, that he loves me and I ought to stop reading blogs long enough to realize it. Unlike cotton candy, that kind of thing can really stick with you.

Dad's

2010-12-21T08:27:00.005-06:00

Last summer I learned once again the power in certain words.

It was on Wednesday which is traditionally when we address our core value of community. But as we looked at 1 Peter it became apparent that community was kind a tired word and not exactly what the text was saying. So we landed on the word family.

It took me only a week or two to realize that there are certain words in the English language that when you hear them, immediately evoke some sort of response. Family is one of those words.

Dad is another.

In the few milliseconds it took you to move from that sentence to this one, I'm sure your brain fired of a few immediate reactions, most of them completely subjective based on your own father.

This morning I finished reading a pretty incredible book. It's called Fatherless Generation by John Sowers who leads a pretty incredible mentoring ministry in my old hometown. In my opinion, if you work with students you should read this book. I think if you are a parent its a pretty valuable resource as well.

The thing is, though we all know this on some level, dads make a pretty profound impact on their children. This is not to denigrate what mom's do by any means. However the stats play out that kids growing up without dads don't exactly have the world at their fingertips. Fathers are a big deal. I knew this, but I realized once again that its one of the places where I make an assumption often. Whenever I stand on stage at Know Sweat I don't intentionally think about those kids that might not have an active father. I talk about God as father and might even share a story about my kids without a second thought. The fact is, I'm not respecting my audience like I should.

Just think about the stories of people like President Obama, President Bush, Michael Jordan, Tony Dungy or yourself. It doesn't take too long in any of those stories for the impact or legacy of their fathers, good or bad, to come out.

I even think of the great folks I get to work with each day. For those that I know well, I've heard at least a few stories about their dads and the things they either caught or were taught by them.

I think of my street where a chunk of the kids running around my yard playing with my kids come from homes without a dad. Or I think of those that do have a dad who's abusive in some way or in and out. The truth is my street isn't much different than yours.

I think of Carter's basketball practices and the handful of boys each night who show up with grandpa because daddy is not around. Or perhaps the dads who do show up at practice and spend the entire time threatening their kids about their performance.

So what about you? What's your story with your dad? If you are a dad, what do you think your kids think of you? For the past month it seems, Mark Driscoll has been tweeting about dad and Christmas and I'm grateful for his reminders. These quick thoughts have reminded us that Christmas is a special time of year because of the amount of time we have the opportunity to be around each other. That can be good or bad. If we are banking on that one present under the tree being the way we communicate love, we might be missing the point. I'm sure Carter and Brynn will remember something they get for Christmas, then again they might not. But I'm certain we could spend some time together creating a lasting memory worth keeping.

Its not really my place to say much except for the fact that you are reading my blog. So here's to thanking our dads if we still have the chance for the impact they've had. Here's to finding a way to redeem our thoughts if they didn't offer us all that much. Here's to being the best dad's we can this year. And here's to reading a powerful book and then doing something with the information. Thanks John for an insightful and moving book and thanks for what you guys are doing with The Mentoring Project.

Now I'm going to go hang out with my kids.....

For more information I'd recommend:
www.thementoringproject.org
www.allprodad.com

Love Your Neighbor

2010-12-16T10:38:00.004-06:00

Currently Listening to: Colored People by DC Talk

I live on a pretty amazing street in Oronogo, Missouri. Go ahead, try and pronounce it. Though the town might have a funny name, its a great place to live.

I'm pretty certain 98% of our community looks and talks exactly the same. Well, maybe not on my street. We've only got about a dozen homes but in that mix is a Filipino family, a Mexican family, two African-American families, a grandparently couple, a single dude who built most of the homes and a couple other families. Oh and then there is that one house that always has 15 cars out front and nobody has ever met anybody that lives there. Its like they are having a perpetual house party but they never make any noise

Last Sunday we had our street Christmas party. Our family wasn't able to stay long but while there a pretty sad conversation happened. It's the type of thing that happens a lot but thanks to my friends at CIY Engage, they have exposed my mind to some better thinking and I'm trying to be more aware in these situations.

It's called CQ. It stands for Cultural Intelligence and if I were to give my own summary, it would be a way of thinking and acting that allows us interact with all people, both here in the States and around the world in a way that is affirming, respectful and honoring. The author says it this way, "Root your view of the other in the imago dei."Now, I don't "get" this yet and I'm not killing it as an ambassador of CQ. I am becoming more aware of things and that's a start but I will confess on the little self test in the book, I didn't do so well. In fact it looked a lot like my grades in Kindergarten. The first time I took kindergarten. But stick with me on this.

What would happen if every person I came in contact with, I chose to treat as a brother or sister, as someone with God's image sewn into their very being? What if we were able to step back just far enough that we didn't expect everyone and every place to think, look and act like us and where we are from?

So back to my story...

I was sitting at the table with a few of my neighbors eating my body weight in the finest of meats and cheeses when the conversation turned to the country of Mexico. Our Mexican neighbors were there, me and two other people. One of them made the comment "I've been to Tijuana and that place is horrible. No offense, but the streets were narrow, it stunk and I felt like I was going to get robbed by every person I walked past."

As a sidebar here, anytime you have to preface a statement with "No offense, but..." you are probably showing little to no CQ. Apologizing beforehand does not excuse being rude. Anyway...

Imagine you are in a foreign country and somebody makes the statement to you, "Hey, I've been to the U.S. before!" Now imagine that the only place they had been would be a place here in the States you are ashamed of. They go on in front of a whole group of people to talk about that place and all the things they hated about it. Not cool. How unfair is it to assume all of the U.S. is like that place and every American is exactly like the people in that city they visited.

The conversation went on to how when this guy was in the Marines they headed down from San Diego for a weekend of fun in Mexico but only stayed for about 3 hours. At that point my Mexican neighbor said, "Yeah, Tijuana is not very pretty. Most people only see border towns and assume our whole country is like that but its not."

I agree. A few years ago I led a trip to Ensenada Mexico and we drove that same route down I-5 from San Diego into Tijuana and then down the Baja coast. I will say this, it was one of the most beautiful drives I've ever made. The Baja coast is amazing. Yes, TJ isn't my idea of metropolitan beauty either but nonetheless, its fascinating and its one small part of a diverse country full of amazing people and some beautiful landscape and culture.

A few days ago my wife was talking with our neighbor. She shared with Ang how hard it is to live here in the States at times. They have been victims to way too many stereotypes and condescending comments. Turns out they don't enjoy all the stereotypes we put on them, they feel uncomfortable with all the comments that are made and she even said they keep their house as clean as possible at all moments, almost obsessively just to try and debunk the myths that American's have about them. They wish they could relax just a bit more and be themselves and not worry so much about what everybody thinks.

Can you imagine that?

So here's to some CQ. Here's to trying to remember that everybody is unique and that's awesome. Here's to remembering that not everybody thinks and acts like we do and that's even better. Here's to seeing the divine in others and trying to do that first. Here's to suspending judgment when we meet people.

I know, its easy and we've been conditioned to do it since we were young. We see a situation and immediately decide tons of stuff about it. That might work on Wall Street but its horrible as a Christian.

And here's to not taking mission and service trips to remind ourselves of how lucky we are. Here's to not taking trips that make the others feel like crap.

At the risk of belaboring the point, Livermore shares a story of a church that wanted to give toys to "underresourced kids". It's a nice thought. They wanted to buy the gifts and then hand them out. The leader of the recipient ministry said, how about I take them and we sell them at a greatly reduced rate so the dads could buy them for their sons. The church said no. Actually they said, "Oh, I don't think we're interested in that. Every year the highlight of this program has been watching the look on our kids' faces as they had that gift to a kid who otherwise wouldn't receive one."

The leader went on to say this, "I really wasn't interested in exploiting the men in our community so the guys at that church could have a nice bonding experience with their kids. All I need is one more message to the kids in our community that says, "Guess what? This six-year old white kid got you a better gift than your schmuck of a father did."

Here's to sharing the joy of Christmas in a way that doesn't humiliate others. Here's to finding creative ways to show kindness with others rather than to them.

I say all this but I will be freaking out during the national championship game.

2010-12-13T14:37:00.005-06:00

I happened to see the moment happen. It was at the end of Sunday nights Cowboys vs Eagles game. There at midfield one of the Cowboys players, Tashard Choice asked one of the Eagles players, Michael Vick for an autograph. I remember thinking it was a bit odd but quickly dismissed it.

Today ESPN ran an article letting people know that Choice got the autograph for his 2 year old nephew who idolizes Vick. Turns out all sorts of people are ticked off about. To them, it shows disrespect to the game and is a signal that Choice doesn't care enough about the game. I guess the unwritten NFL rule is you must show you are not happy about losing.

Now please hear me, I've been known to get pretty angry when my favorite teams lose. I'm not saying I've figured this one out by any means.

But why do we have to look like our dog died when we lost a stupid game? There are times when we are genuinely upset or frustrated but in a situation like this one, a professional athlete is swallowing his pride and asking another pro for an autograph in front of people. That takes guts. I hate asking for autographs because its demoralizing. I feel as though I must say "Hello person of great importance, I am a dope who would like you to scribble your name in an unintelligible way so that I can take it to my office and prove to my less than impressed coworkers that I saw you in the airport."

A couple weeks ago a couple of Arizona Cardinals players got in trouble because they were laughing at the end of a tail whipping. Now to be fair, they were having an unusually jovial time considering they had done nothing that should give them joy. However the one player followed that up with one of those classic tantrums that will either become a Coors Light commercial in a few weeks or at least make the Not Top 10 on SportsCenter.

I just think sports lose their beauty when we become cavemen about them.

The other night at Carter's basketball practice I sat and watched the father of one of Carter's teammate say "If you don't take this more serious I'm going to grab you by the neck and your practice will be over. This is your last warning." I kept hoping Dr. Naismith (he invented basketball btw) was going to come back from the dead and put a peach basket over the guys head. Seriously, your kid is 7 and plays in a league where they don't keep score. And besides your kid can't dribble. Okay, that last part wasn't necessary.

So here's to being passionate but not blowing things out of proportion. Here's to being competitive but not demanding some stupid response to prove we care. Here's to remember all sports at their most basic level are pretty dumb. Here, chase a piece of rubber around on ice. Here, dribble a ball all over and try to throw it through a hoop 10 feet up. Dumb. But fun . And great experiences when we don't get all bent out of shape because we had a crappy fantasy football draft. I'm just saying.

Remember When You Couldn't Wait To Get Older?

2010-12-13T14:03:00.006-06:00

I wasn't in a hurry. In fact if I was, I'd have pulled out in front of them when I was leaving my street a few blocks earlier. They were a cute old couple obviously heading to town in their teal Chevy cavalier. She was driving and while I was following them, I couldn't see her head above the headrest. His barely showed so at moments it looked like the car was being propelled down the highway by no one.

I followed them for about as long as I could stand it. I can only drive 43 in a 55 for so long. When I finally pulled past them something clicked in my head and I wondered what they thought of me passing them. For some reason I had this idea that as they poked down the road they made some comment like "Remember when we used to be in a big rush like that?" Now, I'm totally reading into the situation. I wasn't a jerk as I passed them and for all I know she thought she was going the speed limit. From the looks of it, the ole Chevy wasn't exactly pristine.

But think about the last time somebody whipped past you on a two lane road. Usually we feel like we're going fast enough, otherwise we'd be driving faster. Almost always there is some sort of an instant judgment I make on those people. I may or may not even be guilty of hoping that up ahead I'll pass them pulled over by a cop. I know, real mature.

You've done the same thing.

I was having a conversation with my folks the other night about how it hit them that not so long ago they were taking me to events and grandparents were coming to cheer me on. Now I'm taking my kids and my parents are the grandparents showing up to ooh and aah.

The other night we all loaded up to make a Christmas memory. The kids were in the way back, grandpa and grandma were in the middle row and Ang and I took point. On the way home we were tired, cold and running on the 4 Krispy Kreme donuts we'd each had. About halfway home we stopped for gas and as I stood next the slowest pump ever trying to keep blood flowing in my body I looked through the back windows at my two kids. They were bundled under blankets and cashed out on pillows oblivious to the fact that we had stopped. Somewhere in their subconscious they'd decided dad had it under control and they were going to get some shut eye.

I remember doing the same thing, don't you? You'd find your spot in car, get comfy and wait for dads arms to carry you to bed once you'd arrived safely. You had no clue what happened on the drive. You might have made 3 Dukes of Hazzard jumps, dad may have dodged 4 deer or been pulled over 4 times but you didn't care because you slept like a rock.

Why do I say all this? Probably because it hit me the other day that the distance between cashed out while dad drives home and passed by the guy who thinks I drive too slow isn't really that far. On some level we all know that but I still don't think we live like it. Remember the last time you heard somebody say "It seemed like my kids grew up so slow. I mean, it was like each year took 10 and we were able to savor every moment."? Yeah, me neither.

This year my kids turn 8 and 4. Pretty young. I'm now squarely in my mid 30's which isn't so old but it ain't young either. Trust me, I tried to play basketball today. But I was still sitting at my neighbors house last night when two dads are telling me they remember when their kids were my kids age and now their grand kids are older than my children. They are left with some pictures they dug out of the drawer as proof. Other than that they see 'em once or twice a year and I get the idea they wished they had more time with them.

So here's to making memories. Here's to slowing down. Not all the way to 43, that's way too slow. But in the midst of something going on every stinking night, realize its these moments we never get back. Here's to making the best of the fact that you're going to be driving somewhere with a bunch of people sometime during the holidays. Here's to being fully present, even in the painful moments because soon they'll be gone. Here's to realizing we don't stay the age we are for very long so we'd best get all we can out of it. Here's to playing our part well whether that's sleeping, driving or being passed.

I'll Tell You What I'm Thankful For

2010-12-10T18:00:00.004-06:00

Currently Listening to: Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas by Sarah McLachlan

I've decided Christmas music makes me sentimental.

Right now Ang is making Christmas cookies and my kids are playing. For some reason, most of these words dropped in my lap and I feel compelled to share them. I'm blessed to have a great family and some incredible friends but I want you to meet somebody else you may not realize has had quite an impact on me.

He's an elder.
When I met him he was one as well. I was a young punk Bible College student and he was a respected leader in a healthy church. He seemed nice enough. He was quiet but you could tell he commanded respect. He was pretty soft spoken but you could tell he could make himself heard when it was necessary. That entire group of men was pretty impressive but he was one you could tell had a lot of great qualities. To this day people seek his opinion and he has a wisdom that you can't get from any university. He was a part of a group of men who were crazy enough to hire me for my first youth ministry and they stood by me through thick and thin, good and bad.

He's a coach.
Obviously sports is a love language for me. It's a language I speak pretty easily and its a natural place to connect with people. It's even an easy way to figure out who I might struggle connecting with. I remember the first time I was invited to spend some time at his house. Down in his basement was this great bar area filled with trophy's, awards and more legitimate hardware than I could earn in 4 lifetimes. Every once in a while he will share stories in such a way that you feel like you are on the sideline with him. Those stories don't come very often but just when the time is right, he'll dig into the bag of lore and bring out some new adventure I've never heard before. The thing is, the stories are so good that even when I'm hearing the same one for the fourth time I can't keep from listening.

He's a teacher.
He always has been. That's what coaches do while they wait for game time. He, like many, found himself in the ever necessary role of driver's ed. These days, he's not teaching anybody how to drive though he does just fine doing it himself. These days I catch him teaching my kids things. Over Thanksgiving it was teaching Carter to play pool. I sat in his recliner just out of eyesight and listened as he taught him how to hold the stick, how to position his hands, where to look as he aimed and how to have a smooth follow through. Patiently he would say the same thing as Carter failed to put it all together. Quietly he would offer new instruction and a "Okay bud, let's try and get that 7 now." He didn't celebrate the good shots near as much as you would think. Somehow I don't think it was the achieving that meant the most to him. Nonetheless, teaching seems like a natural thing to him. Always an insight, always a timely piece of wisdom you can apply.

He's a listener.
I'm sure this is not always the case! But most of the time if you can pull back in any situation you realize he listens way more than he speaks. It might be part of his secret for why his words mean so much. It might be because its hard to get a word in around some of the people in his life. It might be because he waits to speak until he has something to say.

He's a hero.
Twice I've had the chance to see his impact on others. On two separate occasions I've sat near the top of the gym and watched him be inducted into the Hall of Fame for the high school he did so much for. Those moments say a lot. They are a big deal for sure and even though he's been inducted 3 times, each of those is special in different ways. What gets me though is the impact he's had on other people I respect. When people you look up to say he is one of their hero's, you have to realize that's pretty special.

He's family.
A long time ago he and his wife had a daughter. A while :) ago, she had twins. Today, one of those twins is my wife. Over time, this man has moved from an elder who hired me to one of the men who ordained me to the grandpa of my wife to the great-grandpa of my children. He has his own son and he's got some solid grandsons. And somewhere in there I get to be a part of all that too.

And these days, he's the only grandpa I've really got. But what brings me the greatest joy is to see what he means to my wife and my kids. There are a lot of goals I have in life but one of them is most certainly to be a man who leaves an impact on my family. If I can look back on my years and know that generations of my family and others' families have been profoundly impacted for the good by my life and witness, I'll think pretty well of myself.

So Grandpa Bill, thanks for building a heritage I was blessed enough to marry into. Thanks for being great. Not perfect, but great. And thanks for giving me my first job.

Production

2010-12-07T10:34:00.004-06:00

Currently Listening to: Not Sure by Fiction Family

"In a variety of ways we are made to believe that we are what we produce." -Nouwen

"What we need are ministers who know the true heart of God and are driven not by a hungry need to be significant in the world but by a desperate love for Jesus." -Nouwen

"We act as if visibility and notoriety were the main criteria of the value of what we are doing." -Nouwen

Last week I turned in my final paper. As I wrapped up a 2 year journey through the world of education, I found a class on Nouwen to be a wonderful way to wrap up my time attempting to get more smarter.

I realized that Nouwen was a man before his time more than I had ever realized. There is so much guiding leaders today that he was tapped into a long time ago. There is also a great deal of thought guiding service and missiology today that can find solid roots in Nouwen's thinking. Since I've not blogged for a bit I thought I would share some of my favorite thoughts from his writings.

The three at the beginning of this post bring up that ongoing battle I think most of us wrestle with as we seek to find the balance between taking pride in what we do and not finding our self-worth and value solely in our occupation whether it be ministry or not. Either way, we are not valuable simply because of that. In fact, I wrestle with just how much value that gives me even in God's eyes. The more I think about it, even if I am advancing the kingdom, for my value in His eyes to be on a sliding scale depending on my performance seems wrong. My obedience and submission are big issues no doubt but I think the externals get overrated too often.

As for a few more quotes, this one brings to mind people I have known. Try it on for size:

"Much Christian leadership is exercised by people who do not know how to develop healthy, intimate relationships and have opted for power and control instead. Many Christian empire-builders have been people unable to give and receive love." -Nouwen

I think to wrap all of this rambling up, I will share a quote from my prof. In it I found profound truth and a warning for all of us. Hopefully something shared from these men "wrecks" your day.

"In summary, even though many would consider relevance, popularity and power as key ingredients of an effective ministry, they are, in reality, "not vocations but temptations" in the ministry." -Hernandez

So here's to a day remembering why we are loved, what about us is actually "valuable" and to caring more about our obedience than our production.

Praying for Jon and Jess

2010-11-09T18:45:00.002-06:00

For those of you who follow this blog, I want you to be aware of a serious prayer need for a couple of amazing friends from Quincy. Jessica is having surgery on Friday and I'm asking you to join in praying for them. You can follow the updates by searching Please Pray for Jess

Here's what they put on their facebook page:

Nearly three years ago, we found out that my wife, Jess, has a serious brain condition. She has what is called an AVM (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arteriovenous_malformation). They discovered it because, on December 1, 2007, she had a brain hemorrhage that she recovered from, and in the following April, her AVM was treated with Gamma Knife (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gamma_knife) because it is located in an area of her brain that is difficult to access surgically. The risk with Gamma Knife, though, is that its effectiveness is gradual. It treats the AVM by building scar tissue which is a process that takes years to complete. Until that process is complete, she runs the risk of it bleeding again.

That is exactly what happened on October 29, 2010. She has been stable in the hospital, recovering steadily. The plan the doctors were leaning towards again was to do another treatment of Gamma Knife. They said the first treatment is working tremendously so far and that given another 1.5-2 years, it would probably finish the job on its own.

Unfortunately, on November 7, it bled again while she was in the hospital. Time now seems more critical, because any bleed could be catastrophic. They are now recommending surgery - to be performed probably on Friday, November 12th. This is a major surgery with very real risks. Even if successful, the recovery will be long and rough.

On September 29th of this year, we adopted our first child, Mae Denise. She is 6 weeks old, is the best thing that has ever happened to us, and needs her mother to come home soon. All Jessica has ever wanted to do was be a mommy. Please pray that she can be just that.

A good friend, Candace Baker, started this page and asked if I would write this to explain our situation so that more of you can pray for my amazing wife. Words cannot describe how much I appreciate all of you. I will link to the updates that I've been writing along the way for friends and family.

Thank you again for taking the time to read about our situation. If possible, please pray for my wife. Pray for her healing and pray for her doctors and their wisdom.

Thank you so much,

Jon Pittman

Do you want to simulate this game?

2010-11-05T09:27:00.004-05:00

Currently Listening to: Martin by Zac Brown Band

I need to make a confession. It impacts not just how I spend my time but how I am parenting my son. I love video games. Yeah, I know. This colossal waste of time where nothing good can ever happen and this area of my life that takes tons of money is one of my vices. Not only do I like it, I have hooked my son on it as well.

Go ahead, judge me. I blame Mario, Link, Icarus and the people at Nintendo. I'm working on a class action suit right now that would allow me to retire to the Bahamas and put my kids through 4 years of school at Oregon.

If you will indulge me, let me tell you what Carter and I love to do more than anything. We pop in Madden and rather than play the games, we simulate them. We pick some team (99% of the time the Colts) and begin to simulate the games. We love the off-season where we run the draft, sign free agents and Carter's favorite part is working trades. Early indications are that he's either going to work on Wall Street or run a pawn shop. Both are good.

We simulate for say 6 or 7 years and see if we can build a dynasty. Usually we win at least one Super Bowl but every once in a while we fail worse than the Cubs. Every once in a while we don't have a winning season, our budget gets all jacked like Enron and end up relieved of our duties.

But here's the beauty of doing that on a video game. We just start over. Plus, since we've done it so many times, we know the way the stystem works. We know how to make unfair trades, we know the free agents the computer loves and we know what guys on the Colts roster are as useful as a spork.

Why am I babbling about video games? Follow me for a second.

Because in life there is no simulation button. Once we choose a path, we live those consequences. There is no reset button where we can turn the system off without saving it. Sure, there are second chances and there are grace, man am I happy about that. But there are also moments where we stand like Robert Frost at a fork in the road and only get to choose one direction.

And there is no chance for us to come back and choose a different adventure. There is no keeping your finger on that page while you turn ahead and see if the adventure you picked turns out well. Once you flip the page, you've determined that move for good.

That being said, I think each day is like this. We only get it once and what we do with it needs to matter. Take that how you want. Redeeming your day is not for me to decide. But in a society who loves do-overs, here's to making the right choice the first time. Here's to making the most of the decisions we've already made. And here's to one last attempt at making the Cleveland Browns a viable football team on Madden.

Thanks to God's Economy by Jonathan Wilson-Hartgrove for inspiring this post.

Shhhhh

2010-11-04T15:53:00.002-05:00

Currently Listening to: Silence

"The discipline of prayer is the intentional, concentrated, and regular effort to create space for God." -Henri Nouwen

I've been getting my tail kicked lately on the disciplines of prayer and solitude. As an introvert, I really don't mind solitude, its just that I seem to be too busy for it and there are usually too many people around. I think everybody at the office has been in on my need for solitude though, since everybody has been on the road, there have been a total of 3 of us at the office every day this week.

But this week I have been reminded of why every moment cannot be a go moment. Without some stillness, we can get so caught up in our activity that we begin to hear only our own thoughts.

I drove to work one day this week with no radio (which is almost torture for me). I found myself anxious to get to work and almost frustrated by the silence. It made me realize how addicted I am to noise, even good noise. I was talking with one of my profs about this and we came to the agreement that sometimes even good noise can drown out the best voice we can listen to.

So how about you? When is the last time you heard God's voice? When is the last time you slowed down enough to let your body relax so you could hear the best wisdom there is.

Here's the thing though: slowing down takes longer than my commute home. In the winter when my friend Keith and I head to the monastery, it takes about 12 hours before I finally feel any peace. The first few times we head into a time of prayer, my legs are jumping, I'm squirming like a 3 year old at a wedding and I find every single noise an opportunity for distraction. But if I set aside enough time, I find that suddenly I'm sitting stiller, my heart rate is more consistent and I finally have enough junk out of my head that I have some space to be refilled with great stuff.

So here's to setting aside some time to chill out. Here's to a little "shhhh". Who knows, we might actually hear something profound when we quit listening to ourselves.

"Somewhere we know that without a lonely place, our lives are in danger. Somewhere we know that without silence, words lose their meaning; that without listening, speaking no longer heals; that without distance, closeness cannot cure. Somewhere we know that without a solitary place, our actions quickly become empty gestures. The careful balance between silence and words, withdrawal and involvement, distance and closeness, solitude and community forms the basis of the spiritual life and should therefore be the subject of our most personal attention." -Henri Nouwen

Why I hate opening presents in front of people

2010-11-02T16:04:00.004-05:00

About 5 years ago I had the opportunity to spend a week in Baja Mexico building a home for a woman along with a couple of youth groups. The week was a powerful one and I will always remember the final day when the father of the woman who we were building the house for came and made amazing carne asada over an open fire. We ate like kings that day and it was this very cool moment where the woman, her two children and her parents shared a meal with all of us gringos. When the meal was over with, we made a big circle and each student was able to share a few sentences of encouragement and blessing on the lady before the last person handed her the key to the front door of the first home she had ever owned.

You could try, but you'll never erase the memory of the tears on her face. You could think as I get older I'd forget, but as a dad, I remember looking at the face of this woman's father and seeing the peace, the joy and almost this sense of relief you could see as it meant so much to him for his daughter to have a roof over her head, a door she could lock and a room for her children to sleep in complete with a dresser, new sheets, nice new beds and a night light.

I remember seeing the impact this trip had on the students I had served with all week. They had worked hard and to see the fruit of their labor received with just gratefulness left all of us feeling like the week in Mexico was worth all the effort.

I'm guessing if you have been around youth ministry, you've had the same type of experience. They are great. They do some good.

But I'm wrestling with what they are really teaching everybody.

From the perspective of the lady, I can only guess. I know it is a huge blessing but since I've never been back, I don't know what that home meant to her long-term. I only have my idea of what that could do for her.

From the perspective of the kids, I have a slightly better idea. Man, the more I think about this, the more I feel judgmental. I guess its hard to decipher what was meant as a nice gesture and where we crossed the line into thinking they needed the same things we would expect in our house. Not that there is anything wrong with matching sheets, new stuff, coordinated paint and curtains. But I know that 20 students came up with over $450 of their own money and dropped it on furniture, decor and stuff. Some of them drove into town and hit the markets buying left and right in what I would imagine looked a lot like a timed shopping spree.

If I think about it, it was probably as extravagant and over the top as Extreme Makeover. Follow me, it wasn't the same amount of money that Ty and his tools use, but it was done with the same type of excess. Now, I know I'm picking on America's favorite improvement show but when I watch that show, those people deserve kindness no doubt but do they need 14 plasma TVs, a retractable roof over their new Olympic size swimming pool and 4 freezers?

Ok, I'll back off that. How about this. When Ty does his "move that bus" moment, who is that really for? Is it for the people who received or for the show and those that worked?

When we gave that woman the key to her home, who was that moment for?

I wonder what it felt like to be that woman who had very little and to be surrounded by 20 people who had come from America and spent thousands of dollars to build a home and then hand you the key, waiting for a response. I wonder what it felt like seeing that video camera rolling and knowing that whatever footage was captured right there was the pinnacle of the show the kids would show the rest of the church when they got home to justify flying 2500 miles and driving 300 more to serve.

I know how much I hate opening presents on my birthday in front of people. You know that awkward moment where you open it and then regardless of how much you like it, must react in front of everyone? Yeah, can't imagine that moment only instead of a new pair of footie pajamas, its a house.

This post has probably gone on long enough. All I'm saying is, it is time we think about what we are doing and what reaction we are really after. It's time we start finding a way to put our faith into action that actually considers what it feels like to be the other person.

Maybe a small quote from Friendship at the Margins

"If we minister with the hope of being thanked or with the expectation that those who receive our help will be grateful, we will not be in a good position to respond when they are not. Life-giving ministry flows from lives that are full of gratitude to God, not with an expectation of gratitude from others." -Heuertz

What if, Day 5

2010-10-29T17:17:00.002-05:00

Currently Listening to: Beautiful Things by Gungor

"When we allow ourselves to be disarmed, we become both vulnerable and strong. The only weapons then at our disposal are those of the Spirit. We choose the way of Jesus, laying aside all the earthly resources that give us power--in order to be present to those we love." Friendship at the Margins

I don't remember who said it but it hits me every time I think about it. They were talking about how we interact with other people and they said that when we give up our power and choose to serve another, we open ourselves up to hurt, injury and the opportunity to be taken advantage of.

I didn't and still don't really like that idea.

I mean, I like what it's saying but getting offended or taken advantage of is not exactly my idea of a good time.

I guess because of this I've chosen more often to do nice things in a way that keep me safer. I'll be happy to serve but only if it has some level of comfort in it. That in itself is why short term service is way more popular than long-term stuff. It's probably another reason why this generation loves missional work that is cause driven rather than people oriented. I'd rather write a check and be done with it than spend hours working with a kiddo in my area that has some of the same needs. I'm not necessarily saying that stuff is bad but I'm guilty of knowing deep down its easier to write a check then give up my time.

When I really think about it though, it means I have to turn my back on Jesus. Or at the very least I have to take a second and tear Philippians 2 out of my Bible. And I'm not comfortable doing that.

So what do I do? What do I do to start modeling and teaching my kids a healthier way. What conversations could I have had with my parents if they'd have let me walk in the homeless shelter when we gave donations instead of leaving me in the car because it was too dangerous? What if I had the opportunity as a kid to realize that baking a few pumpkin pies at Thanksgiving for the Rescue Mission was at its best not much.

So here's to getting hurt. Here's to getting taken advantage of. Here's to being misunderstood by those that call themselves religious and here's to pursuing something that doesn't make sense. It worked out alright for Jesus and I have this nagging sense he's asking me to consider the same.

What if, Day 4

2010-10-28T19:26:00.003-05:00

I picked up a new book this week I've been excited to read. It's by a guy who I have a great deal of respect for. I'm finding some pretty incredible ideas and some powerful things I've heard before but said in a fresh way.

I keep thinking about how we say things. I'm also still thinking about what we say through our actions and how those are often louder statements than we realize.

Our Know Sweat team is working through our old tag line of His Heart. Their Needs. Your Service. Originally, I loved it. Now, I'm not so sure. If you've noticed, we've dropped it to Heart.Needs.Service. One of the reasons for this is we no longer feel like communicating their needs and your service is healthy. See, we don't do service projects so that we can help them. That communicates that they can't help us.

And I don't like that.

Try this quote on for size:
"Mission or ministry with people who are poor or vulnerable often assumes that "our" task is to meet "their" needs. Whether their need is for the good news of Christ or for bread and a place to sleep, we tend to think that we have the resources and they have the needs. A focus on friendship rearranges our assumptions. What if the resources they have also meet our needs? What if Jesus is already present in ways that will minister to us? What if in sharing life together as friends we all move closer to Jesus' heart?" Friendship at the Margins

So it's time to redeem our terminology. It's time to stop treating people as projects and stop looking people who seem to have needs as our chance to drop our awesomeness on them. It's time to realize that poverty, real poverty, is actually broken relationships. (Thanks Molesky) And if that's the case, we are all poor. We all need help.

See there is a generation growing up that cares a great deal about the world. That gets me excited. What gets me more excited is doing something to help them/us learn how to honor and serve not in short bursts but all the time. What gets me excited is to see how when we care about one another we can fix a lot of broken relationships. And if we fixed that poverty that could really change the world. In fact, I could give the next years of my life to that.

Actually, I think I will.

What if, Day 3

2010-10-27T13:03:00.002-05:00

Currently Listening to: To Be Loved by Thad Cockrell

More reading. More questions.

"There is, however, a second temptation in ministry: the temptation to give up powerlessness through spiritual pioneerism. One of the most conspicuous forms of faithlessness in the ministry is the blatant individualism. of the ministers. Seminaries often seem to be training grounds for individual stardom. But Jesus did not send His disciples out one by one. He ordered them to go out together. The powerlessness of the minister reveals itself when the ministry is perceived and lived out as a shared vocation. Much competition and rivalry within the ministry, as well as much of the loneliness and frustration of ministers, find their basis in this rugged individualism." -Nouwen

This quote stings a bit. I think its true. It is certainly what we reward it seems to me. Sure, we have a responsibility to develop as individuals but this should always play out in the community as well. I'm certain that competition rivalry, loneliness and frustration aren't a part of the ministry I signed up for. Seems like our American ideal runs against the grain of the Gospel on this one. It works great for John Wayne and Indiana Jones but not for us. Agree?

What if, Day 2

2010-10-26T16:31:00.003-05:00

So I'm reading last night and I come across this quote about Nouwen:
"Hospitality is not to change people, but to offer them space where change can take place."
I love this quote. The biggest reason why is because it eliminates our ability to be awesome. It takes the power out of our hands and helps us realize that we exist for each other. It makes me realize that I'm blessed when I serve and I'm blessed by others when I serve and it helps explain why I usually walk away from these things "getting more than I gave".

"Ministry is never accomplished in detachment from community; ministry is always done within its context. We do ministry in community together as a body since community is not only a shared reality but also a shared burden that requires us to act together as one."

So, until we see what we do as a part of what we do, we are missing the point. Until we quit calling others our "projects" and until we quit thinking we are bringing great things to others, I still say we are doing more harm than good.

What if the point is actually what you can teach me?

2010-10-25T15:09:00.004-05:00

While reading for class a while back, I came across a quote from Thomas Kelly. In his book A Testament of Devotion he shares, “Do we want to help people because we feel sorry for them or because we genuinely love them? The world needs something deeper than pity; it needs love.” God’s view of justice has virtually nothing to do with feeling sorry for people and everything to do with genuine love. Matthew 9 is an insightful passage as Jesus is moved by the crowds and feels compassion but follows that up with the mandate that we need workers to meet that need. Matthew 9:35-38 says this:

Jesus went through all the towns and villages, teaching in their synagogues, preaching the good news of the kingdom and healing every disease and sickness. When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. Then he said to his disciples, "The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field."

My own experience with service projects for the last 5 years has opened my eyes to the fact that many people enjoy missions and service trips because they feel better after getting a quick high off of feeling heartbroken over a person or a situation. Pity certainly does show up in scripture but in every passage, the Good Samaritan being one, pity results in action. The fact is, nobody wants to be pitied. Where is the dignity in that? If we call people to care simply out of pity and guilt, it is foolish to think this can do any good long-term.

Though their intention is good, it rarely translates into an actual life change once the trip is over. Days or maybe weeks after the trip is over, their attention has again moved back to their own wants and desires. If justice to us means meeting a need short term or feeling like we need to get something out of our experience, we have failed. Until justice means redeeming and restoring people and situations whether that means meeting a need or moving on from an offense, we will be falling short. Until these "trips" translate into long-term life change, I wonder just how much good they are really doing.

Today's Stupidity is Tomorrow's Brilliance

2010-10-25T14:38:00.004-05:00

Currently Listening to: Not Sure by Fiction Family

I had this dumb idea to go back and read some of my old posts from a few years ago.

I think anytime you have the stupidity to put your thoughts in the open, you have to be prepared to look back at them and be ashamed. Not every thought we have is worth sharing.

Or maybe not every thought is developed enough to be ready for public consumption.

However, I also believe that when we think, we begin to work on something that then can develop and someday might actually become a rational or even worthwhile thought.

I was reading the other day about writing. In the midst of that reading I came across some pretty cool thoughts. Here are a couple highlights (Once again, thanks Henri Nouwen):

*"What I am gradually discovering is that in the writing I come in touch with the Spirit of God within me and experience how I am led to new places."

*"Writing is a process in which we discover what lives in us."

I have these friends who used to have a band. They called the band Work in Progress. I always liked the name because 1. someday I want to be a rock star.... Now that I said that I'm not sure that had any relevance.

So 2. I love the imagery that they weren't complete but they were working towards something.

I feel the same way about writing. Sometimes I sit down with a point I want to write about. Other times I have a thought and the only way I can think to think through it is to start writing. Every once in a while I'm shocked at where i end up. Other times I'm disappointed that I said so many words and ended up with very little.

So maybe the title is a bit over zealous. But I do think that if I don't think today about things, I'll have very little to build on tomorrow. And if I have nothing to build on tomorrow......

The more I think about it, most of life is like this. We discover who we are by trying and seeing what happens. It's why I know I stink at soccer, archery, being a lifeguard and singing in public.

I remember my coach when I worked at a church telling me that the problem with me was that I kept waiting for the perfect idea and in the meantime kept missing out on sharing any good ideas I had. The reality was, the perfect idea never came and I was left a non-contributor who people thought didn't care since I never said anything.

So let's be honest, sharing a dumb idea can sometimes be embarrassing. Doing the wrong thing is rarely awesome.

So here's to exploring. Here's to risking a dumb idea today so we might have a better one somewhere down the road.

More (Turtle)

2010-10-21T13:33:00.007-05:00

Currently listening to: Only You by DCB This week was parent teacher conferences at Carter's school. We had a great time talking with his teacher who is doing an amazing job. It is still somewhat strange to go to those things. Makes me feel as old as I actually am.

While there the teacher noticed I was a bit distracted by the class pet. His name is Slipee. Actually I have no idea how they spell it but I choose that spelling because it reminds me of a slurpee of which I am very fond.

9 years ago a student brought Carter's teacher this turtle. 9 years ago, and he still has it. It hangs out in the class and according to Carter "During the day he just lays there and stares at us. He doesn't really do anything cool." Not a bad gig compared to the demise of many of his kinfolk I've seen smeared across the road near the school.

Getting to the point though, Slipee has a pretty decent life going on. Over the summer though, Carter's teacher was beginning to feel guilty that he wasn't providing a nice enough home for the old Slipster. He did some research and then went out and bought him an MTV Cribs worthy pad complete with just about everything they say turtles desire. Carter's teacher pulled Slipee out of the shanty he was living in and dropped him in paradise.

Funny thing is, Slipee just sat there. Not excited, not curious just not enough to really do anything. Long story short, Slipee liked what he had going on. Carter's teacher took it all back and today you can find Slipee chillin' in his simple abode.

You could take this story a number of ways and since this is my blog I choose to take it this way. I know you could role with the whole, "isn't it awesome how content Slipee is?! We should all be so grateful for our surroundings!". I'm not saying that.

I was hanging out with a bunch of friends last week and we were talking about Ephesians because that's what we got to do. We landed in Ephesians 3 where Paul is praying for the church that it would grasp God's power and love and live with a desire for more. Not in some greedy I need as much as the next guy way. More like in a this is flipping cool, we should do this more often kind of way. Ephesians 3:20-21 is all about how God can do more than our turtle sized brains can dream up. We've all thought about this verse I'm sure and normally our application is, "I want a BMW so if God can do more....." I don't think that's it though.

My point? Glad you asked. Surprised you lasted this long. My point is I think we confuse comfort for blessing. We get so bent out of shape when our status quo gets messed with that I think we have a father who wants to pull us out of what we've got and drop us in something awesome but when he tries we often sit there uninterested and wishing we had our old stuff back.

Could it be that there are varying degrees of better? Is it possible that we would settle for pretty good when face melting awesome is ours for the taking? What's the more that God is or wants to give you?

Or maybe I took a dumb story about a turtle way too far......

Kinda

2010-10-10T09:46:00.002-05:00

I have been convicted lately on some of the words I throw around. Not bad words mind you, just worthless ones. Whether it is in meetings or when I'm teaching or even just while talking on the phone, I find that I throw words like just and kinda and like in there way too much.

Then the other night I was listening to my kids pray and I realized that they were asking God for things and using the phrase, "I just want..." or "I just ask that...". Not bad prayers, its just (like that) that if we ask for 6 things in a prayer but "just" ask for each one, we aren't really listening to what we say.

I wouldn't walk into a doctor and say I just need him to look at my sore arm. And just at my sore leg. And just my aching back. And just...

I'm guessing you had the point a while ago.

So here is to thinking about what we say. Here is to listening to what we say. And here's to making the most of our words.

It's just that it's kinda a big deal.

Expectant Extraordinary

2010-09-23T09:24:00.004-05:00

Listening to: The One Who Saves by Hillsong

I'm back from California. Great trip with a number of great meetings. I'm blessed with deep friends and people who spur me on to greater ideas and faith. In the midst of a couple meetings, there were some incredible things God was teaching me. As I moved from meeting to meeting, I kept my friends the Mitchell's and their family in prayer. I'm moved by their faith, no actually by their faithfulness. I'm finding that a lot of people believe but fail to let that dominate their actions. John and Sha, I love you guys. May it be well with your souls.

It seems like there is never a shortage of people who want to give their opinion or advice on all sorts of things. I'm guilty of being that person often as well come to think of it. It also seems like God uses statements people don't intend to say, or maybe one's that aren't from them, to teach me. I can't tell you how many times I've told somebody thanks for what they taught me only to have them respond with something like "I don't even remember saying that." I blame the Holy Spirit for those moments. Here are two that happened to me recently.

While on a campus visit we had the opportunity (let's call it that) to eat lunch in the cafeteria. Our host prayed for our meal and in the midst of it made the statement "Lord we recognize that this truly is the day you have made, may we walk expectantly because of that." I've sung the cheesy song, but I rarely recognize the simply profound thought that God designed the day. Because of that, it makes a lot of others things easier. And it makes a few things more difficult.

I also had a meeting with a pretty incredible ministry. The simple fact is they are living a lifestyle of service I don't have the guts for. They are called to do something so intense, so dangerous and so necessary it gives them the right to say some pretty bold things. Instead, they serve with a humility I'm impressed by. They recognize God is moving there but then they said something that blew me away, "It's extraordinary and it's happening everywhere." In other words, they don't have the corner market on God's activity. What they are doing is awesome, fact is He's up to that all over the place.

My perspective is simply too small. My focus is way too much on me. My situation, my problems when seen in perspective are simple. At least in the hands of the One who made all this. I don't write all this to say our stuff is trivial and we shouldn't get so wrapped up in it. I just want to be reminded that all the while that I serve one who is bigger, stronger, higher. Because at the end of the day the smartest thing we can do is sit in silence with those we love realizing we have nothing to say and He is speaking through His Spirit in ways we cannot fathom or articulate.

In the end, I resolve to try and live with an attitude that looks for the the expectant extraordinary. It shouldn't be that hard. It's happening all over the place. I just need to slow down enough to see it.

Lessons from a date

2010-09-17T17:41:00.004-05:00

Currently Listening to The Way You Are by Bruno Mars.

This morning Brynn and I went on a date. We shared an iced coffee, well truth is one of us hogged most of it, and some other delicious goodies. I snapped this picture of her and then we dug into a great conversation which included Brynn letting me know that she loves girls singers such as Justin Bieber. Along the way I learned/relearned a few things.

1. Slow Down
In my desire to eat and get moving, I miss out on the joy that a meal conversation can be. Our family eats meals together every night because it matters. There is nothing on TV that is more important that our conversation. But there are times when I'm grabbing a meal where I miss out on learning from those I'm hanging out with.

2. Live Loud
Brynn doesn't really have a volume button. I'm learning that's okay sometimes. Her joy for life, her passion for telling stories makes me happy and for most of the elderly folks around us the same was true. Is it mean to assume that most of them couldn't hear her anyway? Brynn loves to talk and loves to eat the good stuff first. In this case it was the hash browns because they were a lot like french fries. I also love how she eats the middle of her food first. I seem to save it for last even though it makes sense to enjoy it. As a life principle, maybe enjoying the good stuff first isn't such a bad plan.

3. Ask Questions
Want to learn? Ask questions. Somewhere after we turn 4 or 5 we seem to be less inquisitive. Though this might be nice for our parents who are tired of answering why questions 2500 times a day, the downside is we start to think we have things figured out.

I learned a lot more this morning too. Like how lucky I am to have her in my life. That God was gracious enough to give me not just an amazing wife but a daughter who is a lot like her as well. That sharing a pile of ketchup can be pretty fun and that as much fun as we had is a rare joy that can pass me by too quickly if I'm not careful.

Towers of Babble

2010-09-16T15:32:00.003-05:00

Thanks to a recommendation from my boss I'm reading a pretty interesting book with a pretty unfascinating title, Salsa, Soul and Spirit. It's actually a leadership book though some of you were probably convinced I was learning to dance.

Sorry to disappoint.

For those of you still reading, the book contains a powerful quote from MLK Jr. that has prompted some thoughts in my head. "We are prone to judge success by the index of our salaries or the size of our automobiles, rather than by the quality of our service and relationship to humanity."

This is not an anti-establishment post. Nor is it a post that says something dumb like big=evil or if you are successful you must have compromised. I think that's petty excuses lazy people make to justify the fact that everything they are doing isn't accomplishing much. Did that sound harsh?

At the end of the day, this serves as a good reminder for me is not what I have done for me, it's what have I done for we. I don't want to live in such a way that I'm out of touch with others, with my neighbors or with the needs of others (and myself).

Somewhere in there whether we've intenionally developed one or not, we have a philosophy on justice, social responsibility and the sacredness of life that is guiding what we do. What makes us great isn't our got but our give.

Gut Check

2010-09-16T12:31:00.003-05:00

Currently listening to nothing.

In my reading this week for my class on the book of Ephesians, I came across a gut check quote from John Stott. This week we are studying Paul's prayer in Ephesians 3 which is a rather familiar passage for most of us connected with the church. In his section on this prayer, Stott starts his first paragraph off with this statement:

"One of the best ways to discover a Christian's chief anxieties and ambitions is to study the content of his prayers and the intensity with which he prays them."

I'm not going to say much more about all this as I think just Stott's words are convicting enough. The reality of it is my prayers, if they were printed out for you to read would probably leave me embarrassed. The reason being, they are selfish and self centered way too much.

This picture reminds me of one of the two people who when I think of when I get honest about what a beautiful prayer life can look like, my grandma. I remember as a kid sometimes being annoyed by how long her prayers were but when I think back to them, they were so passionate. They were spoken from a humble need and expressed to God just who He was and how impossible life would be without him.

The other lady who I think of is a dear woman named Helen. For about 3 years I lived with her and her husband while finishing up college and serving at my first church. IF there is a woman who prays more selflessly, I am not aware of it. The simple, peaceful intensity with which she prays blows me away. She is disciplined, consistent, faithful with her prayer and her stories of what God has done are inspiring.

A long time ago when I was a youth pastor, I used to challenge kids to spend a week where they were not allowed to ask God for anything while they prayed. What I found, and they said they did to, was just how shallow and selfish most of our prayers are. I'm not saying I don't think about what I pray, I'm just realizing some focus could make a pretty big difference. My question is, how about you?

The Better Half

2010-09-13T11:44:00.003-05:00

Currently listening to Made For You by One Republic

We were talking around the office today about how incredible and under appreciated our wives are. I have said for years that the most impressive, capable and worth knowing Gilchrist is my wife. I don't mean that as disrespect for my kids, you should meet them too!

I realized this once again a few months back when I watched the kids for a weekend while Ang was gone. At the end of the weekend I felt like I deserved a Emmy for getting the kids to school and church, feeding them meals, attempting to bathe them and providing food for them that didn't come out of a microwaveable tray. I remember coming back to work on that following Monday and feeling like there should be a special assembly in my honor that distinguished me above all other inferior men in the office who watched football, played video games and slept while their wives did everything.

The fact is my wife is amazing. My wife would suck without her. Our home "runs" because of her. While I'm off eating at some Diners, Drive Ins and Dives location she is busy caring for Carter and Brynn and giving of herself to make sure they are happy. And I don't thank her enough. She's creative, articulate, opinionated, insightful, passionate, dedicated, determined and as capable as anyone I know.

Truth is, she gives me the best advice. She's rarely wrong and reads people, situations and concerns quicker and better than I ever will. Some of the guys I work with even now ask me, "Did you ask Ang? What did she say about it?"

So to my amazing wife: Words on a screen don't do you justice for what you mean to me. I probably have no idea how amazing you really are and all the things you do to bless me. If I started today, I couldn't ever catch up to being for you everything you are for me. Maybe every once in a while I need to give you a weekend away so I can be reminded with how empty my life would be without you. Maybe someday we can open that restaurant together we've always dreamed about.

Desire

2010-09-10T11:49:00.003-05:00

Currently listening to Kings and Queens by 30 Seconds to Mars

I talked today with a pastor who is trying to figure out their next step in life.

To say the least, there is a lot packed in that sentence. Especially when you consider that any decision we make regarding ministry, location and co workers has a lot of implications. As a person who has moved a time or two, those situations are difficult to say the least.

It seems like people are always looking at "what's next" for them. I think this is good but dangerous. I speak from personal experience as there seemed to always be times in my life where I was looking at what I would do next. Somehow I might even love what I'm doing right now but still be curious about the next stage in life.

What I am being taught is that what's next and what's right now can be the same thing: faithfulness.

I heard Louie Giglio quote Thomas Merton a while back, "Your life is shaped by the end you live for." I like that thought quite a bit. I think what we look towards needs to be eternal and not earthly. Period.

So enough about bigger jobs, higher pay, cooler locations and more about developing who we are to look more like Him so that no matter what we are doing its the right thing. I say that because the only common denominator in all our jobs, all our locations is us. New places don't fix gaps in our character, it just masks them for a while.

Maybe the words of Thomas Merton about desire sum this up best: "Your life is shaped by the end you live for. You are made in the image of what you desire."

Jad and Kal

2010-09-09T08:37:00.002-05:00

Currently listening to With Everything by Hillsong

It's the 9th of September. A few months ago the 9th was just another day on the calendar. Depending on what I was doing, it might be a significant day or it might be just another day at the office.

A few months ago the 9th of any month became special, even sacred.

Ang and I have some friends who we love a great deal who are pregnant. This amazing time in their lives has turned into a bit more than they had planned on when they discovered that the twins boys were actually conjoined. Despite the doctors best efforts to discuss things like termination, John and Shawna have stood up, for the Glory of God.

Stood up sounds too soft, too weak. They have demonstrated a faith and a strength that is unbelievable. I've always enjoyed these two, I have always admired their strength and unashamed worship for the Father. But the worship they demonstrate these days is different.

You hear it in their voices, you see it in their actions, you sense it in their presence. They are inspiring people, regardless of the outcome, demonstrating just what it looks like to walk by faith and not by sight.

On the 9th of each month, Ang, Carter and I join dozens of others who fast all throughout the month for this wonderful family of 4. This day has found me in 4 different cities doing a variety of things but we each find a way to fast and pray for this couple and their wonderful kids. When we first approached Carter with the idea, he said, "I will fast for more than a day if it helps the boys be healthy."

Years ago Carter was in John and Shawna's wedding. I had the honor of helping to marry this couple and watching my son in his little tux look up at John and Shawna that day and I realized he was learning something about love, purity and what it means to follow hard after God. Of course he has always looked up to them, especially John because he's a drummer and what little boy doesn't want to be a drummer!?

A couple years back I had the privledge of being a part of John's ordination into ministry. I went back and found my notes for what I said to him that night, buried in my moleskine I carry with me everywhere. I shared 3 verses that night but its what I closed with that comes back to me now.

At the very end of my message to both John and our friend Tyler I asked them to pour their lives into my son Carter. If my impact on them had meant anything, if they could, would they pass who they were as men of God into the life of my little boy.

And then I closed with this passage from Psalm 17:5.

"My steps have held to your paths; my feet have not slipped."

These words are true of you. May they always be so.

My friends, your journey is long and it is just beginning. Please know we are walking with you and we love you. Thank you for what you have taught me. Thank you for what you have modeled for the church. ...for the Glory of God...

To find out more about John and Shawna and to join their journey check out: "...for the Glory of God..." on Facebook.

Unity Part Two

2010-09-04T09:46:00.002-05:00

Currently listening to She (for Liz) by Parachute

Not much to say, just a Word for the day. I'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact that our unity can contribute to the validity of what Jesus did. Does that mean when we act in disunity we bring that truth into question? Convicted today by what this means not just for the church but for my own family.

Happy Labor Day.

Peace and Unity

2010-09-02T19:34:00.003-05:00

Currently Listening to 5:19 by Matt Wertz

You heard it here first, we are studying the book of Ephesians next summer at Know Sweat.

As I begin to dig into what the theme will be, what it will look like, what passages we will cover and what words or images we want to bring to life at the week, I've been struck by two words that sound soft but are actually just the opposite: Peace and Unity

There are a lot of things "we" are good at.

There are also a lot of things "we" could use some work on.

I wonder what it would look like if we lived life as the church known for our unity and peace. It seems to me and my naive perspective that a lot of the other "stuff" would work itself out if we focused on these two.

Think about the last conflict you had. If things had been seasoned with a spirit of unity and peace, could it have turned out different? better?

Tracing

2010-09-02T18:21:00.006-05:00

Currently Listening to: Tracing by John Mayer

It's my favorite John Mayer song. It's my least favorite thing to do when coloring. Tracing.

Everybody in my family colors differently. We might all start with the same supplies and even the same picture but when we are done, they all reflect our personality and skill. Or in my case, lack there of.

I've thought about how this applies to us as believers a number of times and if you'll indulge me, I have a thought.

What if we are all different because we're supposed to use who we are to color our picture they way God made us? Now stick with me, I'm not saying faith is open to interpretation and we should all go off in the wilderness and hug trees.

The way I see it, the picture is exactly the same. It is constant. It doesn't change. The way it turns out can be different.

It's God's picture and He has entrusted us to bring flavor and color to it. It was not meant to sit there plain. Call me a heretic but I think the method changes. Call me a heretic but I think the message can change too. I'm not saying scripture has changed its meaning, I'm saying how we bring it to light can change a persons perspective. Why else could you hear 4 sermons on the same passage from 4 different people that all emphasize something different and all of them are truth and all of them teach you something different?

Let's say the picture is God, faith, hope. The way we color it is how we, as the church, bring it to life.

Maybe I'm stretching things a bit but I have a questionthat deserves an answer:

How are you bringing God's picture to life?

**Artwork used by permission from Brynn Gilchrist

Lead or Confront

2010-09-02T15:10:00.004-05:00

Currently Listening to: Fences by Phoenix

I grew up hating confrontation. I inherited this from my upbringing. It turned my stomach and I found any way possible, even living with decisions I hated to avoid it.

Then something happened.

These days I don't get out of bed praying it gets to occur but I've come to realize that when done right (still learning this part), its way easier than the frustration I lived with by avoiding it and it makes life much, much better.

I have also discovered that meeting a problem early on is easier than waiting until it becomes an enormous issue. I know, right? Who thought?!

I was sitting in a meeting a while back when the reality struck me that as leaders of people, we have a choice between leadership and confrontation. What I realized is that by leading well, people know what to expect and we are able to guide and interact with them in such a way that confrontation is rarely necessary. If we choose to be lax on our leadership up front, we are defaulting to the reality of confrontation. Whether its over missed expectations, wrong results or miscommunication, if we don't lead, we'll have to confront.

Or you can choose the method I lived with for years of being stuck in frustration and doing nothing about it. I don't recommend that approach if you're asking.

Rhythm and Routine

2010-08-31T08:31:00.004-05:00

Currently Listening to: Comfortable by John Mayer

It's fall. Okay, technically its late summer. Nonetheless Carter is back in school, high school football kicked off last weekend and I'm trying to get used to going to the office 5 days a week.

There is something comforting about the fall, back to seeing everybody at the office, starting to make plans for the next summer and starting each morning with a good, strong, strong cup of coffee.

I don't know when it happens but somewhere in September I finally slip into that rhythm and routine of work and life and my productivity picks up. There is comfort in knowing that each day looks slightly the same and has enough predictability in it to allow for interruptions while still allowing me to check off the things on my to-do list.

But with consistency comes the dangerous potential downside of a rut. Somewhere between steady and stagnant sits an invisible line where the same thing over and over again can render me useless and listless.

So as this fall approaches, painfully slowly I might add, my challenge for me/us is to find a way to build enough of a schedule to allow us to be as productive as possible while also avoiding a level of rhythm and routine that renders us bored.

Forts

2008-05-07T07:59:00.000-05:00

The other night I got done mowing and noticed some of the boys on our street had turned a pile of dirt, cement and stuff that sits over in an empty field across from our house into a fort. Each of the boys was carrying some sort of a plastic gun, from what I overheard one had a pistol, one an assault rifle and I never caught the other two. They were different ages, the oldest being around 13 and the youngest probably 7.

What caught my attention was the fact that they were in an argument. It seems everybody in the army wanted to be General and nobody wanted to be a soldier. “I have to be on the assault team, I’m the only one that has an assault rifle.” “No, that rifle is the most powerful thing we have, you should stay and guard the fort and we’ll go attack the other fort.” “I’m the oldest so I need to lead the charge, otherwise you guys won’t know what to do.” “He can’t stay behind, he’s the youngest and if we only leave him, his gun isn’t powerful enough to defend it.”

I think by the time they figured out what they were doing, the “enemy” had long since moved on.

I had forts when I was a kid. From the ones build with a blanket over the dining room table to a couple in my backyard. My favorite one was in the back corner of our property and sat against the back of my neighbor’s garage. It had a tree that provided an umbrella of cover as it spilled down and the walls were made of stacked chunks of old concrete. From my crows nest, I could see my whole house, almost all of the back yard, into my neighbor’s yard and out to the street that ran in front of my house. Sometimes I was at war in the fort, sometimes I was there to hide but no matter what it was mine, I was safe and you weren’t allowed in without my permission.

Oregon is full of forts. Early settlers and folks who traveled the Oregon Trail (not the computer game, I’m sure it was a little more difficult than that) built them for protection. Every year we’d go over to Vancouver, Washington for 4th of July fireworks and watch them at Fort Vancouver. It is a magnificent fort made of out of the tallest and straightest trees you can imagine. Each shaved of its bark and pointed at the top like a brand new, freshly sharpened pencil. I loved those forts as a kid and tried to imagine what it was like to live there. Truth is the fort wasn’t built so much to inspire everyone outside the fort to greater heights, it was for protection. It was a symbol that life as you knew it was changing. In some crude form it was the earliest gated community. You were either welcome or you weren’t. People either smiled when you came in or glared when you dared get close.

George, that character I told you about who has a fire burning in his soul and in his front yard, said something during our lunch that caught my attention. In his opinion, the church has become too interested in building forts instead of servants. Those were his words, not mine.

If I were to throw in my two cents, it would be to remind myself that I’ve spent much of my time building forts. I’ve called them other things, kingdoms, programs, youth groups. But many carried the same characteristics of the aforementioned forts. I just don’t want to see the church go that route. If I could go undue my fort building, I would. If you are building forts, you should stop. No matter how inviting you make the front lobby of your fort to visitors, it’s still a fort. The church ought not to be about what is happening inside the fort but what its doing outside whatever walls it has to build.

Standing at the intersection of Babylon and God's Kingdom

2008-04-24T18:51:00.003-05:00

It struck me a few weeks ago that my view on the kingdom of heaven might be completely screwed up.

For as long as I can remember, it has been about the coming of the kingdom. It was something far off, something that would happen after the second coming and something that I really had no control over. What is funny to me is that I have also thought often about bringing heaven to earth by what I do. Nonetheless I think I fell a little short.

In conjunction with this thought has been my own personal wrestling with the church. I have had this sinking feeling that we are giving up our God-given right to impact the world. Sure, it is happening at times and with a few people but mostly we sit silent while celebrities stand at our pulpit. As a people pleaser, I certainly understand the fear of offending someone. I even understand not speaking up when we are supposed to out of fear. I do it personally because at times I doubt I have the right to say something. But not the church. She is strong. She has power to change the world or at least to usher in a new kingdom.

I have friends who are passionate about this. Most of them are still fighting this fight but every once in a while one drops by the wayside. Tired. Defeated. Frustrated. Bored with meetings and discussions. Confused. Hearing a call for something...different but unsure what the first step should be.

I met a guy today. His name is George. He lives in West Virginia in a town you have never heard of. He works at a Baptist church and is in his 70's. He retired a few years ago from a job in D.C. and moved back to the country. He is one of those facinating people who fluctuate between brilliance and insanity. A conversation with him is one that requires a seat belt or at least a strong stomach. My favorite phrase from him was, "Now this will blow your hat in the creek."
George was reading his Bible a while back and got stuck in the book of Nehemiah. He was convicted by Nehemiah's story, how he was broken over the walls of Jerusalem and did whatever he could to rebuild them. George said he was gripped by the fact it only took 52 days to rebuild the walls. He decided it was time for a personal revival. His first action was to build a fire in front of his church that will burn for 52 days to symbolize to the community his fire to do something. He has decided to do service work around his city and somehow word has leaked out about this old dude. When our lunch was over he was headed back to check on a work crew that was putting a bathroom in. Right now he is in the midst of 52 days of doing service in his city because he got bothered by a devotion in Nehemiah.

I've read Nehemiah before. I thought it was a cool story. I really liked how the built the wall with one hand and carried a sword in the other.

One of the things I like most about what I do is it doesn't allow me to become too callous. I hope.

Yesterday I met two sisters. They live here in West Virginia as well. They live together in a little house and help each other out. One is completely blind and the other is a double amputee who lost both of her legs. They were on my list of people who might need some help. What they need is somebody to spend a day moving stuff out of their closets downstairs because they can't reach it anymore. Oh, and they need their windows cleaned since the hose doesn't reach the top windows from her wheelchair. It is almost comical. It is completely frustrating.

This afternoon I met Kim. She lives way out at the end of a road where the pavement ends, deep in a hollow (holler). She is divorced and was a victim of domestic abuse. He has two kids she's trying to take care of while she goes through chemo. When I got out of the car her first words were, "I used to have a haircut like that!". In case you are wondering, we will be working for her this summer.

My best friend from high school has cancer. He first found out a couple years ago and they did surgery to remove the tumor which was the size of a football. A football. After a year or so of good days, he has relapsed. Hospice is there now. A few weeks ago he recorded a video for his family to watch after he's gone. Two weeks ago he recorded audio of his voice so his kids could remember what their dad's voice sounded like and so "they'd know how much I love them."

I was reading last night about lenses. This phenomonal book ,which is to blame for the post you are reading, was talking about how we view things in our spiritual life. It was making the point that everything is viewed through our eyes, with our perspective and ultimately with our best intentions in mind, you know, how it benefits me. I like a verse on grace because it is good for me. I like a verse on forgiveness because I certainly need it. The author was saying he and his small group met for a period of time and simply read scripture with someone with a specific need in mind. As best they could they put on the lenses of the abused woman, the dad with cancer and kids who haven't even reached 8 years old, the blind woman who has never actually seen God's creation. They said it completely changed scripture. He, being a preacher, realized how many times he was putting his personal biases into scripture and was interpreting instead of studying. He was putting himself into the text rather than putting the text into him.

So what I have been realizing is that even though I knew it was wrong, I have been guilty of seeing scripture within the context of a building. What I am grateful for is that this "job" forces me to take scripture deep into a hollow, into a conversation, into a living room.

I realize this is extremely thin ice I'm skating but I this is why at this point in life I cannot see myself working in a church again. I just cannot handle conversations about buildings, programs and the appeal of the lobby. My friends who are fighting that fight can. That's why I love them. That is why I pray for them. I pray that they can make that body more alert.

I fear many of us show up on Sunday morning expecting to be entertained, not filled. We want to walk out with a buzz rather than a burden. We see that gathering as something for us, something catered to our needs since our life is hard. We look for popular and relevant rather than satisfying and disturbing. I too often find myself focused on my little pain rather than thinking of those who know little beyond their pain.

A few weeks ago the History channel ran a special to remember Martin Luther King. Ever since I've been to Memphis his story has caught my attention and so in the evenings I watched the retelling of his story.

One thing about the documentary has really stuck with me. It was during an interview with an old rapper, I think he was from Run DMC or some other amazing group. He was talking about the legacy of MLK and said the thing that saddened him the most was that the longer MLK has been dead the more mild he becomes. He fears that people no longer see him as the revolutionary that he was. He no longer is seen as a bold, fearless and peaceful resister of the status quo. The sad thing is I heard the same thing said about Jesus a few weeks ago. I fear it might be true of the church too often as well.

"While we are highly attuned to avoid a faithful peculiarity that might offend, we also avoid a faithful peculiarity that might redeem."
"The power that defines us is not the power of God we meet and know through worship; it's the social power of being "normal", accepted, popular, tolerant."
"Our unwillingness to live as faithful exiles explains our capacity to chase culture rather than transform it." (The Dangerous Act of Worship)

Do I love the church. Yes. Do I believe in the church. Definately. Is there any better way to bring about the kingdom than through the church. No.
I simply long for us to wake up.
I.need.to.wake.up.

"The church is asleep. Not dead. Not necessarily having trouble breathing. But asleep.
We are asleep to God's heart for the poor and oppressed, absorbed with our own inner life, wrestling with our own dreams and traumas that , for all their vividness, are unknown, unseen and largely unreal to the world around us." (The Dangerous Act of Worship)

The kingdom is not in the sweet future. It needs to be now. People need to see it. I/we need to stop settling for comfort and application that meets our needs. We strive for relevance and yet are viewed as antiquated or detached or out of touch with the needs of our community. Maybe it is time we build our own bonfire.

Something I Don't Understand

2008-04-14T19:23:00.002-05:00

My dad was an only child. I'm an only child.
It happens almost daily that I look at my kids (plural) amazed at the bond that is already there. Whether it is walking around the house, playing in the yard or sitting at the dinner table there is a bond there, a connection that I've not ever experienced. I've had good friends, I've got the greatest wife ever but I can't fathom the bond of borther and sister.

Right now Carter is outside riding his bike and whenever he rides by the window Brynn seems to sense it and with a high pitched squeal makes a beeline for the window. Buh-Buh! Buh-Buh! Then there are the moments where he's on one side of the window and she's on the other. Sure, he drives her crazy (he is a boy after all) and she takes his toys and messes up his puzzles but man do they love each other. Every morning Ang can sit by the monitor and hear Carter go wake his sister up. They sit in her room talking and laughing until chubby gets hungry! I will admit there were times that I only wanted one kids. Man am I glad God knew better.

If he thinks I'm crazy enough for three however....

Another Top 5 and the view out my office window

2008-03-31T11:25:00.002-05:00

So we had a tornado warning this morning in Joplin. I found the rain and the storm amazing and though they made us get to the middle of the building for a while I guess the fact that I've never actually seen a tornado made me less than interested.

So its been a quiet morning catching up on email and the like, listening to Coldplay and loving the rain. Rainy days make me happy. I thought I'd throw in what it looks like outside my office right now. I simply love the colors and how stuff is starting to wake up.

Thrown in on this here post is the top 5 people I'd love to meet who aren't alive anymore. I'm excluding Bible characters only because they'd probably be 4 of them. My last perameter is that I'd get to hang out with them in their time period, observe them and have some level of conversation with them.

Honorable mention: Abraham Lincoln, Martin Luther King Jr., A.W. Tozer

5. Lenin

The dude freaks me out. Just to watch him talk, lead, be a jerk. It would be facinating.

4. Vince Lombardi

Love this guy. I read his biography and was facinated by him. Just to watch him coach, listen to him throw down and see it in action would be pretty cool.

3. Bob Gibson

I love pitching. When I grow up I want to be a pitcher. To hang out with one of the best, see the preparation. There are a lot of great ones out there but I just think he'd be facinating.

2. JFK

Another guy I've read a lot about. The classic American contradiction. Good leader, charismatic person, lots of shady stuff going on, I just think he'd be one that would be amazing.

1. Hitler

My history facination with this guy is huge. Captivating speaker, motivator of people, strong leader. Hate what he stood for, but still intrigued by the personality. My grandpa gave the better part of his hearing up chasing this guy across Europe in a tank and wouldn't talk about him but to observe someone who got so close to ruling the (almost) modern world.

Top 5 Part...I can't remember

2008-03-30T16:34:00.003-05:00

Top 5 places I want to see before I die.

5. India
I'd love the see the Taj. I'd love to see the culture, it has always held some type of intrigue for me.

4. Moscow, Russia
I want to see the Kremlin, and see the sights of history that I grew up being so afraid of. Red Square, all of it would just be amazing.

3. Australia
Surfing, snorkeling, not getting eaten by a shark. I think the country looks beautiful (the parts by the ocean). I'd love to head down under for a nice, long relaxing vacation. As long as I didn't have to fly Oceanic airlines home..

2. Germany
The history nerd part of me wants to see Germany. The nazi history, the concentration camp my grandpa helped liberate, the countryside.

1. Scotland
Since I'm Scottish, I want to see where my ancestors are from. I think the country is beautiful and full of so much history (more than just William Wallace). My parents went there and loved it. Someday....

In The Back of The Room

2008-03-26T15:05:00.002-05:00

Carter at Believe in St. Louis. I.Love.This.Picture.

Another Top 5

2008-03-25T15:57:00.003-05:00

For fear of offending someone by leaving a name off or for fear of offending someone because the name is on the list, I'll only say a short sentence or two. Here goes.

Todays Top 5 is my Top 5 preachers.
5. Jayson French: I love this guy. He expends more passion in one sermon that I show in a decade. Love it.
4. Chuck Sackett: Didn't realize how spoiled I was I lived in Quincy. Ang and I miss that. The dude can bring it.
3. Bob Lowery: He preached a sermon on Easter YEARS ago that I've never forgotten. He brings such wisdom and depth to something in a way I can understand but don't always comprehend.
2. Brian Lowery: Funny. Wise. Pointed. Self-aware. Humble. Articulate. When I grow up, I want to preach like Lowery. Did I mention how hilarious this guy is?
1. Rob Bell: Call me what you will I love this guy. Love the way he preaches, love his personality don't always jive with his theology but still will listen to him anytime I get the chance. He should think about making videos or something.

Not a Top 5 Post

2008-03-18T19:56:00.003-05:00

Yes Woody, U2 should have probably been on the list. However, I'm going off of a lifetime of music. If I were to list everything, John Denver would have been on there as well. Thanks for being the only person reading my blog though.

Rarely do I ask you (person reading this) to read anything else besides my inspired writings, but every once in a while I actually read something and I'm a better person for it. I submit to you this story, this stuff messes me up. I'd say enjoy but that wouldn't make sense.

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/eticket/story?page=conley

Top 5 Part 2

2008-03-16T21:16:00.002-05:00

Okay, I've put this one off as long as I can. This is a tough list. I may disappoint myself or disagree with myself later but here goes.

The top 5 bands or artists I can't live without.

Consolation: Counting Crows, Augustana, Snow Patrol

5. Boys Like Girls:: Favorite Song:: Holiday
I found these guys like last summer and cannot stop listening to them. I know, give me a hard time but they are amazing. If only they had more than one album.

4. Hillsong United:: Favorite Song:: Devotion
Simply awesome. By far my favorite group putting out Christian music. When I grow up, I want to be in HU.

3. Ellery:: Favorite Song:: A Thousand Lies
Thanks to Coghill I found out about this married couple from Cincinnati. 5 seconds into the first track I loved them. Once I saw them in concert at UCC I had a whole new appreciation for them, their musicm, the lyrics. Simply great. I'm telling you, if you don't own their live album you should be angry with yourself. Because I'm angry with you.

2. Jimmy Eat World:: Favorite Song:: Here It Goes
Holy smokes these guys rock. I've never hearda Jimmy Eat World song I don't like. I love their vibe (that was for you Woody). Each album seems to get better than the first. Simply amazing.

1. John Mayer:: Favorite Song:: Tracing
This might be a lot of peoples number one but I love this guy. Live stuff is better than studio albums in my opinion. Again, Coghill opened my eyes to the As/Is albums which are by far my favorite. There isn't a day that goes by I can't listen to some Mayer. Too bad Samtron couldn't get me tickets last year.

5 Posts You HAVE GOT TO READ

2008-03-13T23:31:00.002-05:00

Okay, so if you still are crazy enough to check this blog thinking I might actually write something, I'm about to drop 5 posts in the next, um, let's say 2 weeks on the top 5 of 5 things that are important to me. Before we begin let me make a statement, if you don't own an Ellery album yet, preferably the live disc, I'm not sure we can still be friends. They will influence my top 5 in just a minute. Without further ado, here's list number 1.

My Top 5 Favorite Cities in America

5. Johnson City, Tennessee
This one was the toughest ironically. I thought about Chicago, but I haven't been there enough. I thought about Dallas but that was too safe. I'm going with Johnson City, Tennessee. What?! Are you kidding? Nope. I love it there. I am a sucker for the mountains, for the beauty of that part of the country and for the food. Seriously, if I lived there I'd weight 400 lbs. Cootie Browns, Poor Richards (and the sweet tea Ryan), Bucs Pizza, the Japanese Steakhouse, Zaxby's Chicken and many others. Milligan has a beautiful campus, I just dig the place. Like it or not, Tennessee made the top 5.

4. Memphis, Tennessee
This is starting to sound like a Know Sweat tour commercial. But its not. Memphis has this vibe that really connects with me. It is by far my favorite Know Sweat city (maybe this is a commercial). Again, I'm a big fan of the food, Celtic Crossing, Lenny's Subs, Interstate BBQ, Central BBQ, Corky's BBQ, they've got a Pei Wei. I think it is Beale Street, Community Bible Church, the city. I don't know, it is just such an amazing place. I really like the history and fell fo the city too. Bonus, I'm headed there this weekend.

3. Cincinnati, Ohio
Okay, this is ridiculous. Here's what I've learned about myself. I'm a big city guy but I dig the big city that isn't so huge that its overwhelming. I'm not an LA or NY guy. I'm not even a Chicago guy like that. I like a town that's got a ton of culture but isn't so huge that you can't really define it. Cincinnati wasn't on my list until after last summer. I guess if you spend 5 weeks anywhere you are bound to like it to some extent. I have to thank my boy Matt Coghill for part of my love of the city. I'm a big fan of places where you have to know the city to know the good places. I don't like tourist traps, I like authentic vibe. Cincy has that. The river feel connects with my childhood, the food is amazing ( you are suprised by this?). Camp Washington Chili, Currito, Penn Station, First Watch are all a staple when I'm there. I love the downtown, all the shops, the Scottish Pub are great as well. I'm a little shocked to admit I like Reds games too. Kentucky ads a bonus to Cincy since my favorite view of the city (other than the one from my dorm room at CCU last year) is the one from the balcony of Starbucks at Newport on the Levee. Call me untrue to my West Coast roots but I love this town.

2. Denver, Colorado
If I could live anywhere (money obviously being no object) it would be Denver. I loved our time there culture wise. When you factor in Longmont, Boulder, Fort Collins and other surrounding areas, its amazing. Denver isn't too huge but has such a vibe that I love. Plus you factor in the mountains, the perfect climate, the accesability and the people and its easily number 2. Plus Know Sweat isn't there (until 2009, you should come). Food wise, I'm giving a shoutout to Wingman, the finest wings on earth. The 15th street mall is amazing, Flatirons is great, Rockies games in right field watching a game and a sunset over the Rockies is all but untouchable this side of heaven.

1. Portland, Oregon
Okay, so I grew up there. Know Sweat isn't there (until 2009, you should really come check it out). Yes, it is my hometown and maybe that is why but it is the one place on earth where I feel truly at home. I love the people, the city, the vibe, the food, the weather (if you want to believe it rains there all the time, go ahead). It is the perfect example of the small big town. Downtown is the best in America. The views are insane, you can see so many great peaks from there. Growing up in the city taught me it was so accesible, and so clean. I love the fact that last fall when I wanted to watch the Oregon football game the best party was in a coffee shop. I love the climate, the fact that you are within 2 hours of skiing, the ocean, amazing hiking and the desert. Oh, and you're just a few hours from Mecca aka Autzen Stadium in Eugene. Sometimes I find it funny that God's never put a burden on my heart to go back there to live since I love it so much. Nonetheless, its easily number 1.

Okay, there you go. I could have said more but words are expensive. Check back for my other 4 lists. The next list: the 5 bands or artists I couldn't live without.

Breaking the Silence/Things That Make Me Happy

2008-02-07T14:32:00.000-06:00

So Brynn is one. Carter is another. He turns 5 in March and is becoming such a little man. My wife is more beautiful than ever. We are discovering a new stage in life which has been amazing. Work is splendid. My car needs to go to the shop because the front is jacked and the back bumper is falling off. I'm starting to travel more again and I'm very happy.

Other than that, life is pretty usual. I do plan on saying more, today though, I need to ease my way back in.

When Words Fail, Pictures are Clear

2007-12-04T11:45:00.001-06:00

A Real Bookstore

2007-11-13T09:10:00.000-06:00

Sometimes even the instant gratification of buying online isn't enough.

About once a month since I've moved to Joplin I have found myself wanting to buy a particular book only to find out that the (insanely) lame bookstores of Joplin don't have it. One would think in a town with roughly 295 different restaurants and 3000 different places to buy smokes and lottery tickets that somebody would carry books people actually want.

I am rarely one to complain about Joplin. Truth be told I enjoy it here. Granted I am on the road quite a bit and end up buying most of my books in real bookstores, ones that carry books printed since 2005 and often also possessing the sacred smells of Starbucks, but nonetheless just because I can buy them elsewhere doesn't mean I always want to. Paying $5 for shipping and waiting for 3-7 business days also doesn't cut it.

Sure, I admit that there are some unread books on my desk right now. Sure, a good steward would read those before spending more of said stewards hard earned money on more books but that isn't fun. Or impulsive.

So, tomorrow I leave for the 'Nati and you can bet your bottom dollar you will find me across the river sipping a sacred cup of something hot and expensive while I put my grubby mits on the book I MUST HAVE.

And in case you are wondering this moments must have book is The Shack by William P. Young.

Rob Bell

2007-11-08T08:55:00.000-06:00

Ever since the Nooma's came out (thanks for the tip Schaff) I've been facinated by Rob Bell. A little quirky, sometimes controversial but always engaging and challenging. For the record I'm a bigger fan of Sex God than Velvet Elvis though both are great.

Tuesday night thanks to the generosity of the Mo, he and I had the opportunity to drive up to Kansas City and check out Bell's new speaking tour, The God's Aren't Angry. Now to be fair, I'm sure I had pretty high expectations but I came away from the evening thinking it was one of the most enjoyable things I'd seen and with a sense of encouragement. Mo says this one wasn't as academic as his first tour, Everything is Spiritual, but great nonetheless. Bell speaks for 1 hour and 45 minutes straight and the time flies the way it does during a good movie or on date night with your wife.

Some general observations and reflections:
*Rob Bell is an amazing communicator. He makes it memorable both in an entertaining way and in such a way that you can replay in your mind the first 15 minutes almost by word even after the whole journey.
*I think Rob weighs about 85 lbs.
*The last 20 minutes are worth the price of admission.
*I was suprised by the crowd that was there, it wasn't what I expected. It also wasn't very interactive with him. They laughed at the jokes and really tracked with him but I half expected more random,spontaneous applause at times.
*I came away with so much to chew on but also encouraged in my faith.
*Rob became one of us and shaved the head. Bald is truly beautiful.

So check if he's coming to a city near you and if so and its not sold out, go check it out. If you don't like it, well, let's worry about that later.

Oh, and if you see me in the next few weeks and I like you, I need to tell you about dinner.

Can Win 'Em All

2007-11-05T09:02:00.000-06:00

There were times on Saturday night I wasn't much fun to be around. However, this years Ducks seem to have an ability to win the big game, something we've only been able to do with cheating refs to this point......

I found out tonight we're actually on ESPN again next week, on Thursday actually in a game that makes me nervous. Okay, so every Ducks game makes me nervous. I'm not one that thinks we should play for the national title. I'll just be happy if we win out. Let the polls take care of things. And hey, as long as we're better than USC and Washington who really cares? And yes, I did think the Ducks uniforms on Saturday were majestic.

As for my Colts.......

A Duck AND A Christian???

2007-11-02T08:51:00.000-05:00

See the itty-bitty seventh grader. He's 5-foot-3, maybe 135 pounds in his football uniform after a good Northwest drenching, just a spot of a shy child whose mother calls him "Snootie Pie."

Oregon running back Jonathan Stewart was known for his pure speed coming out of high school.The itty-bitty seventh grader isn't smiling. He's no longer the star of his football team, no longer the running back whom no one could take down. Suddenly, he's hitting the ground quicker and harder.
"Everybody had just started growing and I was still a pip-squeak," Jonathan Stewart recalled. "All my friends were bigger than me. I was like, 'Man, I'm not as good as I was in youth football.' It was kind of discouraging for me.
"But things changed."
That's for sure.
There are growth spurts, and then there's what happened to Stewart. Perhaps it was something in the water in Lacey, Wash., but that itty-bitty seventh grader transformed into a 5-foot-10, 200-pound high school freshman two years later, at which point he began gaining huge chunks of yardage -- a state-record 7,755 when he was done -- that made him the nation's top prep running back by 2004.
The itty-bitty seventh grader became a physical marvel, a chiseled 5-11, 230-pound mass of speed and power and potential, with eye-popping measurables -- the most celebrated recruit in Oregon history.
This season, however, he's become something else: A running back.
The conversation about Stewart used to focus on his 4.34 40-yard dash and his 402-pound power clean, but that never entirely muzzled whispers that for all his physical ability he wasn't an instinctual ball carrier.
Consider 2007 another sort of growth spurt, only this one expanded his patience, vision and decision-making. Stewart no longer tries to go the distance every play or run over every approaching defender or twist and turn for every extra yard and thereby risk the injuries that hampered his first two seasons.
The end result is this: He may be the best running back in the nation, apologies to Michigan's Mike Hart, Rutgers' Ray Rice and Arkansas' Darren McFadden.
"He's scary," said Arizona State coach Dennis Erickson, who's been fretting over film of Stewart and Oregon's ludicrous-speed offense this week in preparation for the Pac-10 game of the year between his No. 4 Sun Devils and the No. 5 Ducks. "He reminds me quite a bit of [St. Louis Rams running back] Steven Jackson."
Stewart ranks seventh in the nation with 130.4 yards per game, but his per-carry average (6.69 yards) is tops among the top 25 running backs. He's also caught 14 passes, ranks 19th in the nation in kick returns and has eclipsed 100 yards rushing in each of Oregon's biggest games -- Michigan, California and USC.
Those numbers, combined with the Ducks' extended nesting in the nation's top 10, suggest that Stewart should be a Heisman Trophy candidate. But quarterback Dennis Dixon, the maestro of Oregon's spread offense, is presently the one with his name on the marquee.
No reason to gripe about that. Dixon, after all, does rank sixth in the nation in pass efficiency and 14th in total yards while leading the nation's best offense.
Still, this tandem is far closer to Lennon and McCartney than Batman and Robin.
So who should be the Ducks' leading Heisman candidate?
Oregon coach Mike Bellotti hems and haws on the question, calling Dixon the "triggerman" before adding that Stewart "carries this team on his back at times."

Otto Greule Jr/Getty Images
Stewart has rounded out his game in his three years at Oregon."I'm probably a little too close to the situation," he said. "It's hard to pick between those two."
USC coach Pete Carroll lauded Dixon's mobility as the difference-maker following his Trojans' defeat last weekend at Oregon, but also called Stewart the critical component of the Ducks' offensive rhythm.
Few would argue with 6-foot-7, 340-pound offensive tackle Geoff Schwartz, who gives the edge to the senior Dixon over the junior Stewart because of age, but his sentiments might be biased because Dixon unexpectedly pitched him the football against the Trojans, allowing Schwartz to rumble for 3 yards and rank 11th on the team's rushing list.
Schwartz hastens to add that he and his mammoth offensive-line mates certainly enjoy busting open holes for Stewart.
"The stuff he does is pretty amazing," Schwartz said.
For many reading this, the debate is purely academic, and not just because it's prudent to wait and see what Dixon and Stewart do against the Sun Devils' defense, which, statistically at least, is among the nation's toughest.
Many are still stuck on the fact that Stewart admitted that his mother calls him "Snootie Pie."
Those raised eyebrows present an opportunity to correct a mistake -- his nickname "Snoop" -- that has hounded Stewart for years. "Snootie Pie" became "Snoot" among Stewart's close circle of family and friends, but that erroneously transformed into "Snoop" in high school and college.
So those aspiring for an insider's spot in Stewart's posse should go with "Snoot" instead of "Snoop."
Of course, Stewart isn't much of a posse guy. He's quiet and religious, a political science major who has always wanted to be a state patrolman. He fires himself up for games with contemporary Christian music.
If he did have a posse, it likely would be large, though, considering that the general consensus is he'll bypass his senior year for the NFL draft, and he figures to be a first-round pick.
Not that he's dwelling on that while the Ducks eyeball their first Pac-10 title since 2001.
"I'm not really a person who tries to speed things up," he said.
After all, patience has paid off for him, first with a prodigious growth spurt, then with his development as a ball carrier.
Perhaps a Heisman or, failing that, a national championship is next?

How About Those Cubs

2007-10-08T09:08:00.000-05:00

I was fortunate enough to spend the weekend in Chicago meeting with some amazing youth pastors and youth coaches. I really enjoyed hanging out with good, good people who really care about students and the conversations were challenging to me and reaffirmed some of my own values about youth ministry.

We spent a lot more time than I had anticipated we would talking about Emo culture and cutting. I confess these things really showed up after I got to CIY so my experience with them is rather limited. We had a great discussion about how/if Emo and grunge culture from the 90's were similar. A rebellion against the rebellion essentially. I had to smile thinking back to my high school years rocking the Doc Martens, jeans and a flannel. I'm glad most pictures from that era of my life are safely stored away.

On my drive home yesterday I was convicted that I'm not praying enough for my brothers and sisters in youth ministry. At times I forget just how important and overwhelming their ministry is.

How 'bout it

2007-09-10T13:50:00.000-05:00

I'd be remiss if I didn't herald the mighty Ducks effort over the weekend.

Ducks hand Michigan worst loss since 1968

The Proverbial Lightbulb

2007-09-06T13:57:00.000-05:00

I like good ideas. Someday I hope to have more of them in rapid succession.

A week ago or so, I was made aware of a guy who had a vision to sell affordable shoes that would help other less fortunate. His idea was simple, sell simple canvas shoes at an affordable price and when somebody buys a pair, donate another pair to someone who doesn't have shoes. The idea is simple, he started the company out of his apartment. Now they are getting ready for their second trip to deliver the shoes, this one involving 50,000 pairs for Africa. Brilliant.

Check out the website.

Tom's Shoes

Dad, Why Don't You Wear Hair?

2007-08-28T10:52:00.001-05:00

This continues to be Carter’s big question to me lately…..

So the other night we were sitting in the living room watching the Cardinals game and other Christian activities when Carter came up behind the couch and we had the following conversation:

Carter: Dad, when I was in heaven I asked God to give me a daddy with hair but he gave me a daddy without hair instead.

Me: Really. Does that make you sad.

Carter: No, its okay dad.

Pause where young mind comes up with new sentence…..

Carter: I thought maybe I would have a dad like Matt (Coghill).

Me: Yeah? Why is that?

Carter: Well, we both play guitar and we are both rock stars.

Not really sure how one should respond to something like this but to laugh. I did ask him if it was okay that I was his dad and if that made him happy and he assured me that I was a great dad. I have to say the man child keeps us on our toes these days.

My one saving grace these days is that Albert Pujols is also currently bald and that is a cool thing to him. Therefore, Albert and I have something in common and that makes me cool.

He is really putting this world together and it is fun to see. Scary at times. He all about letters and spelling and numbers and school is just around the corner. Heaven help us!

Les Miserables

2007-08-21T12:49:00.000-05:00

Going through some old files here in the office I found a page of quotes and on it was one that struck me as particularly insightful.

"Certain thoughts are prayers. There are moments when, whatever be the attitude of the body, the soul is on its knees."
--Victor Hugo, Les Miserables, 1862

H2O

2007-08-20T09:49:00.000-05:00

As a guy who spends a lot of time drinking water, I found an acticle lately that reminded me of some things and also brought to light our obsession with bottled water in some new ways.

For instance, did you know:
*Americans spent more money last year on bottled water than on ipods or movie tickets?
*24% of the bottled water we buy is tap water repackaged by Coke and Pepsi?
*Fiji water produces more than 1 million bottles a day while half the people of Fiji don't have reliable drinking water?
*In 1976 ( a very good year) the average American drank 1.6 gallons of bottled water a year. Last year we drank 28.3 gallons. We drank more water than milk, coffee or beer. We still managed to keep pop (or soda for some dorks) number 1 at 52.9 gallons.
*We pitch 38 billion water bottles into landfills every year. Over $1 billion worth of plastic.
* If the water we use at home cost even what cheap water costs, our monthly water bills would be over $9000.
*1 billion people worldwide have no reliable drinking water; 3000 children die each day from diseases caught from tainted water.

I'm off to refill my nalgene. Here at the office I can only drink the water out of the fridge. The water out of our drinking fountains is fine if you are standing there, but if you put it in a cup, it tastes like you are sucking on a nickel. Happy drinking.

A Bakers Dozen of Sentence Statements

2007-07-29T12:01:00.000-05:00

1. I am in St. Louis and it is so, so hot here.

2. David Crowder writes strange books.

3. One of my best friends who I've not seen in ages was here Friday, I was even in the lobby of his hotel, but we didn't know each other was here.

4. Thinking about #3 makes me sick.

5. I got angry last night, I was grateful for the company and wisdom of another of my best friends whose wisdom is always a gift.

6. Cincinnati has a downtown that is infinitely more enjoyable than St. Louis.

7. I am resigning myself to finishing second in fantasy baseball this year and relinquishing the champions trophy.

8. I think the Cubs may finish ahead of the Cardinals this year.

9. I feel somewhat like a wet cardboard box today.

10. Why does a bakers dozen have 13?

11. Midway through the writing of this post, my internet connection was lost and when I went to post this here post, much of it was lost (the remaining 4) which means what you will read from here on out was not the original thinking and I feel badly because I felt as though those were the real gems of this post and now it lacks anything good or profound or worthwhile but nonetheless I will press on with the remaining 2 statements I owe you.

12. That last sentence was very long and left me little room to tell you of other things of importance such as the discussion we had last night on how best to move on after a summer of eating out and cafeteria food to which our best solution to date is a 2 month fast.

13. I am grateful that blogger now saves my drafts automatically though I wish they'd saved it one more time before all my brilliance was lost and you were left with this.

5,000 Words

2007-07-26T22:43:00.000-05:00

Currently Listening To: Saviour King by Hillsong from All of the Above

So it's been another good week. Tomorrow we load up trucks and begin the journey back west towards Joplin. Our final stops will be Mountain View and St. Louis and I will find myself tomorrow night reunited with the gray team. It has been good to be with the blue team. They are a hard working crew and the 3 weeks of Know Sweat with them have been a lot of fun.

One of my "jobs" for the past 3 weeks has been to snap some pictures of the groups as they serve each day. I confess that I'm no photo journalism major but I found myself tonight going through some photos to see a quick re-run of the summer to date.

Back in Joplin, I have some cork boards on one wall in my office. I've put some pictures from my trips with CIY, pictures that have a story behind them. I've taken better pictures, there are a number of shots I love but those are the ones that each time I look at them, they take me back to a specific thought or moment on my own journey.

Tonight I pulled 5 pictures I'm considering for the wall. Each has a story, too long to tell here but fun to look at nonetheless. So I submit to you a quick and scattered look at what I've seen in the last 6 weeks....

Talk To The Hand

2007-07-25T21:25:00.000-05:00

Many months ago I was at the National Missionary Convention in Indy. It was a very good time, complete with all the fun that comes with travel. I always come away from those things feeling small which is quite cool.

On this particular trip I was able to teach an elective for the Indiana Christian Teen Convention dealy-o in this facinating little room. <>

Right before my little shindig, an adult session had occured in the room which was taught by and attended entirely by hearing impaired people. Obviously they used sign language and since the class ran a little long and I showed up a little early, I "listened in" on the last few minutes of the class and then watched all the customary post-class conversation.

Tonight in the midst of the singing at Know Sweat I noticed a girl who was using sign language as she sang. I find myself finding sign language mysterious and beautiful.

I remember when Ang and I lived in Quincy and the church was signing all the services and a good friend of ours would do all the signing and I would find myself watching this happen out of curiosity and facination.

It got me to thinking about something we tell students at Know Sweat all the time, that you can speak without using your mouth or your voice. Both literally with your hands or literally, with your hands.

Today I saw a group painting the home of a muslim woman, a group serving the city of Cincy by repairing and rebuilding a city park, a group serving a woman who's not liked by her community because her house is a mess--and the city is literally driving by thanking them and watching.

A local TV station is filming at a couple sites this week and have done some interviews because they are doing a series on teens and money and can't get over the fact that kids would pay money to serve in a city other than the one they live in.

So I guess I'm sitting in this subpar dorm with a nice internet connection wondering why we don't shut up and start talking more often. I wonder why it is so amazing when students do it and so unremarkable when adults stop.

No Way

2007-07-20T21:47:00.001-05:00

What? The NBA is fixed? No way, shut up. That is crazy talk.

Next thing you know they'll start saying that colleges are slipping their athletes cash to play. Do they really think I'm so dumb as to believe that?

Back in the 'Nati

2007-07-12T18:40:00.000-05:00

I'm back from Memphis and ready for 2 more weeks in Cincy before heading to St. Louis. Ang and the kids will head up here tomorrow which will mark the first time I've seen them since I left for the summer. I guess you could say I'm looking forward to seeing my family.

The "trade" of interns went quite well and Memphis was an amazing week. The projects turned out great and the blending of our team went quite well. We had some extra hands on deck thanks to the finest OCC camp team one could imagine and some old friends from Rocky who flew to help the band and pitch in on projects. Nathan Head threw down as only Nathan can and spent much of the week in the truck or on work sites with us which is always a meaningful thing. I feel confident saying he is good people.

Yesterday was my next to last trip in a box truck for the summer and the trip included a pit stop in Nashville to eat lunch with Shaver.

This weekend the blue team will get some well earned rest and enjoy some of the finer things in Cincinnati. Well, we'll at least have fun. Well check out UCC tomorrow and I'll get to do some long awaited reading while waiting for the family to arrive.

Remind me to tell you about Memphis at some point, right now I need to go fold my clean laundry and find a band for one of our interns who had his debit card stolen.

There's Nothing To See Here

2007-07-07T23:22:00.000-05:00

Things I've enjoyed in the last few days:
-A drive to Milligan in a box truck. Especially when the engine died and the steering locked. Going downhill.
-Sweet tea and the Canadian Mounty at Poor Richard's (Ryan, I tried to eat at Makado's but they were closed, I really tried to get the sweet carrots, I hope we can still be friends)
-A divine appointment with a hero/friend. He's more hero than friend because I really have nothing to offer back.
-Getting to see my friends the Hedgers, Hills,Snows and others.
-Some amazing Rob Bell sermons.
-A smooth flight to Memphis with the man the myth, the Allmoschlecher.
-Some amazing Memphis BBQ(with more sweet tea), a stroll down Beale Street and hanging out with the new crew of interns, my buddy Golubski and all that is the blue team.
-A reunion with my friends the Coghills.
-Inside Afghanistan, an amazing read.
-Stripped--a book you have to read just to figure out what you think about a few things.
-Currently, some great Elton John and Paul McCartney, Derek Webb and John Mayer and the fact that I'm about to crack open a book I've been waiting for: Simply Christian.

Things I'm looking forward to:
-Seeing my family
-This week in Memphis with a lof of old friends, our old student ministry band and some freaking awesome service projects
-Returning to Cincinnati
-Listening to Nate Head preach for a week
-Sunday morning at Community Bible Church in Memphis, the church I would attend every week if I could
-The things I'm not aware of yet that will make this another fabulous week.
-A Memphis Redbirds game tomorrow afternoon.

I leave you with a quote: "The failure of Christians is not primarily a loss of love for God but loss of love for people."

Or maybe two: "A sense of entitlement robs us of our joy when it comes to serving others."

Goodbye Norma Jean.

Cincinnati in July

2007-07-04T21:46:00.000-05:00

God really does have a sense of humor.

Tomorrow marks the end of my first 3 weeks in Cincinnati. It will be a full 21 days since I've seen my family and another 11 or 12 before I see them, that time will hopefully go faster now that I'll be changing cities on Friday.

Cincinnati has been really, really good. The projects have been great, working with and seeing old friends has been a lot of fun. Shaver continues to be a good man, the band continues to rock and we've had 3 unique and amazing in their own way guys come drop the Word on the students. There was some stuff that happened last night with one of our interactive elements that I wish you could have seen. It was cool.

And in the midst of it, it rains at least every other or 3rd day here, but never when we work. Right before, right after all the time but when the kids at the work site, it "miraculously" happens to not rain. We sure are fortunate. and Lucky. ha.

Friday I roll to Milligan to meet up with the blue team and say goodbye to my friends that have been the gray team. Saturday I'll be in Memphis to say hello to my new friends and start the last 4 weeks of the summer.

In the midst of it, I currently find myself immersed in a book that is really teaching me--stripped. I continue to search out my theology and develop my understanding of who God is and the stuff I'm supposed to understand. And all the while, I watch kids live out their faith in a way I didn't at that age.

So I hope you saw fireworks, it seems Cincinnati has a show every night and each morning the city greets us not with the crowing of roosters but the familiar sound of police sirens. Ahh, urban life. Much like what I enjoy on the mean streets of Oronogo.

Why I Hug Trees

2007-07-01T16:06:00.000-05:00

I finished Serve God, Save the Planet today. I sat on the edge of "the hill" here in Cincinnati overlooking downtown. CCU has a nice little gazebo with a swing which was my vantage point and it offered a unique perspective as I read.

I won't say it was the best book I've ever read. I did thoroughly enjoy it but it awakened my understanding to something. Sitting there swinging, I realized I hug trees not because I necessarily give a rip about them or because I truly think we share the same mother. Sure, we come from the same Father, but it isn't really a spiritual issue to me in the way I might have expected.

The thing Sleeth does in the book is drive the thought of enviornmentalism back repeatedly to something I do give more than a rip about: missions. Though the reality that the fossil fuels I don't use acutally help my friends in the Sahara out, is the thought that what I do and don't do echoes back to materialism, greed, selfishness and a connectedness to the dark side of my only-childness: selfishness. I give a rip about the environment to care about others, because if I could get this under control, I could actually use that money to support actual things of value. I care about it because I think it sucks to be an average American. I hug trees because as much as I love an air conditioned stadium and a good game, as much as I love sitting in my family room and watching a great movie, I feel so much more alive in a park around nature, even if I am a mosquito magnet. (Sidelight, if you come see me in Cincinnati, I'll blow your mind with beauty and peace in some parks that even people who've lived here for years didn't know about).

The last few pages of the book summarize what I am not explaining well with one word. Love.
Love of God and nature and others create this cycle that affects so much of where I am at and frees me to care about things that matter and provide a life worth living.

Environmentalism, much like service and the poor, is a pretty popular i.e. cool subject right now. That sucks because it is on a course to be antiquated in a few years. It will go the way of all the other fads in Christianity.

A number of years ago I heard a sermon by Leonard Sweet. I find that if I read or listen to something he did about 3 years previously, it makes a lot more sense. He, like my friend Lowery, is too prophetic and sees things much earlier than the rest of us. Anyway, Sweet went through this sermon about all the things the church was too ashamed to admit or acknowledge that society has taken and championed and then the church has come back much like the punk playground kid saying something along the lines of "hey, that was mine first". Societies response? "Uh, when I found it, you'd left it laying in the gutter for the past few days so I figured you didn't care about it anymore."

What hacks me off isn't that we want back in on these ideas, its that we don't care about them until they become popular. If we would spend as much time "marketing" what God had written thousands of years ago instead of trying to chase down society and make it fit some verse, I think we might actually make a difference.

Okay, I'm done for now.

Hooray for the Trailblazers.

2007-06-29T14:42:00.000-05:00

I've had some good conversations lately. Some happen in the chapel, some have happened in the truck, some have been at Starbucks. All have been good.

A couple nights ago Shaver and I disappeared downtown to a quiet Starbucks and talked honestly about what we've been reading and about what God has been teaching us. The night before I recieved some Godly wisdom that still makes my head hurt.

Today I finished another amazing book, Samson and the Pirate Monks. That too got me thinking. This time about authenticity and accountability. I spent some good time thinking about those I've been honest with in the past and about the honest relationships I look forward to when this summer of service is over and the other part of my normal life returns to me.

In case you wondered, the week was a good one. All the big screw ups were my fault and I fixed errors from last week while managing to create new mess ups in the process. I think I have a spiritual gift for that. At least most of my frustration lands at my own feet which is fine.

It seems like I should have more to say to you at this point but I don't. I still find Furthermore from Jars of Clay to be amazing and Good Monsters is growing on me thanks to Shaver and BJ.

I'm off to call old friends and catch up.

Oh, and I'm happy with the new Blazers. I'm officially back on the bandwagon. Just a little sad we drafted a guy from Duke. Guess you can't win em all?!

Sell Your Soul To Santa

2007-06-26T15:11:00.000-05:00

I saw that on a bridge today on my tour of Cincinnati. Week 2 is underway and it is going awesome. The groups are doing some amazing work and I was able to have some conversations that have me thinking.

My real reason for the post though is to let you know of my book of the year. This weekend I took saturday morning and finally met a new friend, In A Pit With A Lion On A Snowy Day.

Seriously, I've read Bell, Tozer, McManus, all them types and this book met me in an amazing way. I'd give you some quotes but basically I'd say everything between the first sentence and the last is worth your time. And you know me, I like books, but I love this one.

I share with you only one quote that dovetails so nicely with our theme for this summer of Know Sweat:

"Seeing and seizing opportunities is an overlooked and underappreciated dimension of spiritual maturity. Every day is filled with countless God-ordained opportunities. Not a day goes by that we don't have an opportunity to love, an opportunity to serve, an opportunity to give, or an opportunity to learn.......Most of us want our opportunities nicely packaged and presented to us as a gift we simply have to unwrap. We want our lions stuffed or caged or cooked medium well and served on a silver platter. But opportunities typically present themselves at the most inopportune time in the most inopportune place.....Now let me take some pressure off. You don't have to manufacture opportunities. In fact, you can't manufacture them. That's part of God's portfolio. He is preparing good works in advance."

And finally:
"Embrace relational uncertainty, It's called romance. Embrace spiritual uncertainty. It's called mystery. Embrace occupational uncertainty. It's called destiny. Embrace emotional uncertainty. It's called joy. Embrace intellectual uncertainty. It's called revelation.

May your day be amazing. May you get off your butt and change the world you are a part of. There are over 175 students, most of them middle schoolers, who are doing just that this week. They showed up to step into a God-ordained moment. After all, as I heard at church Sunday, "we proclaim the God who continues to show up."

Blessings.

I'm Sure I Already Knew This

2007-06-23T08:22:00.000-05:00

I've been having a lot of conversations lately, and not all of them have been with myself.
It seems that in the midst of the summer kick off, God is teaching me a number of things through a number of people.

Last night our staff headed to the Levee for dinner and some book shopping. Off on and on over the next few hours it led to discussions about a number of topics mostly regarding prayer, discipliines and all sorts of other matters. The really cool thing was, none of them had anything to do with Know Sweat or "work" related matters. It was just about where we were with God.

Last night, I sat down to read for a while and came across a line that has been bouncing in my head all morning. It's from a book I've been wanting to read for a long time and finally found last night.

"God wants you to get where God wants you to go more than you want to get where God wants you to go."

I find that incredibly freeing. The reminder that we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. So may we find those things, or better yet, may we quit looking and start working.

Week One

2007-06-22T11:07:00.000-05:00

What a week. I really, really wish you could have seen it.

Schaffner absolutely knocked it out of the park and Shaver was phenomonal. The comments have been positive and the kids did some really great service work.

The nature of this ministry is that we spend 10 months looking forward to these 2 we are living in right now. It is so cool to see God bring things together and watch this thing gain traction.

I had to laugh as I woke up this morning and it was pouring rain. God is so amazing every summer not just by blessing us with safety but also with a lack of rain. Continue to pray for those things but I find it more than ironic that it rains the day after we're done working. Nice.

A Father's Day

2007-06-18T21:15:00.000-05:00

Father's Day became something new for me today. The evolution has gone from the first time I said it to my dad, to the first time I called him to wish him a good day and he was able to say it back to me, to yesterday, the first time my son called me and we had a conversation during which he said Happy Father's Day. We talked about how he'd been swimming, about how I was in Cinseeatee and was going to a baseball game and how we missed each other. It just keeps getting better. I missed out on a milestone of his as he started swimming around a little on his own but got another one that will never go away.

It's now Monday and Know Sweat is under way. Schaffner is here, Shaver is here, they both knocked it out of the park and the projects start tomorrow. It feels so good to get off to a start and the interns are doing a phenomonal job. More updates and pictures to come.

Breaking the Silence

2007-06-16T21:11:00.000-05:00

Hello world. I am back.

Not that you cared.

I currently reside in Cincinnati and have been here for the past 2 days. I won't be back in Joplin till August 3rd which right now seems like a long, long time away. It is Know Sweat season and I couldn't be happier. I am spending the first 3 weeks in Cincinnati. It is going to be a great run here with some amazing projects and some great guys leading us in our time with the Word and celebration.

I guess by ways of an update I don' thave one all that much. There is a great group from Chicago already here on campus and its good to finally start to see the students who will serve with us. I don't know if you know this but I love this job. Love it.

The family will be coming to visit in a few weeks and that will complete heaven on earth for me. I promise to start blogging more often and hopefully they are worth something.

I will tell you the same thing I told our interns tonight: Read Micah 6:8 and try to live into it all summer. That would be amazing.

2 Posts In A Row About The NBA

2007-05-23T08:45:00.000-05:00

I must be sick. I can hardly stand the NBA.

I guess by default I've always had a favorite team in the NBA. I find I follow certain players more than a certain team. When I was young I loved these guys because they were the only thing in my hometown.

When they began selling drugs and being evil criminals, I had to withdraw my support or quit going to church. I quit cheering for the Jailblazers sometime in high school. After Drexler, Porter,Kersey and the boys were long, long gone.

But oh how the ping pong ball bounced our way and I fell back onto the bandwagon.

So now they have the #1 pick, a future and I'm back in the fold. Since they are from the old hometown I say you can come and go as a fan however you want.

Like say for instance we draft Sam Bowie instead of Michael Jordan again......

In an unrelated note that might be a "had to be there" moment, we were talking in the office the other day about projects for one of the summer locations. We recieved a late addition of a name of someone to help. I was asking this persons name and I was told her name is Anita Hand.

We do service projects for people who need help and I found (maybe because I'm odd, or from lack of oxygen) this project to be worthy of help but the name ironic. Maybe its just me.I wonder if one day we might serve someone named Coulduse Somehelp

I Miss David Robinson

2007-05-15T08:29:00.000-05:00

I remember a day not so long ago when I liked the San Antonio Spurs. They were cool, they were fun to watch, they were led by a stand up guy. Now they are thugs. Big Shove Bob and the rest and just playing dirty. Bruce Bowen is just plain scary. I now officially cannot like them. They have decended to the place usually reserved for the Yankees and Duke.

As far as something positive, I have rediscovered a Dave Matthews album I wasn't that crazy about at first, Stand Up. You should check out Louisiana Bayou. Great tune. I heard it at Starbucks last night and its been stuck in my head since.

Done

2007-05-11T14:18:00.000-05:00

I finished the book on my flight home this morning. For those curious, it was Hurt by Chap Clark. I enjoyed it very much.

Now the earth can keep rotating.

Book Recommendations from a Music Guy?

2007-05-08T12:27:00.000-05:00

Last Friday I had my manhood challenged and a qualifier put on a friendship if by Friday I don't have a certain book read. Oh, and I was told I'll be removed from said friends blog should I fail to man up to this challenge.

Okay, if you say it like that it sounds really scary. Actually a guy I trust recommended a book he thinks I should be ashamed to not have read yet. So I'm reading it. I can't do anything about not eating the carrots in Johnson City but I can fix this one.

Consider me reading.

Hope your Tuesday is a great one. I spent my morning thinking about the summer and specifically the evening times we get at Know Sweat. I'm excited. Not excited enough to wish it was here tomorrow because we wouldn't be ready. But excited enough to be anxious to see how God moves.

Now enough, I must get back to reading.

It's May

2007-05-03T10:05:00.000-05:00

It's raining. Another good day for me since it reminds me of my homeland. The only downside is my grass will once again need to be cut. Just how old does Carter have to be before he can drive the mower by himself.......

I thought I'd share a couple things I'm excited about.

1. We have a new front page on the ciy website. This brings me great, great joy. Our new web ninja (his title not mine) is going to be a huge blessing. Plus I like calling him ninja now. Ninjas are cool. You should check it out right here.

2. While you are surfing the web, you should check out my fantasy baseball league I'm in. Oh, did I mention I'm the defending champ! Finally after all these years I somehow managed to topple the dynasty that is Matt Wilson. You can check out our league right here. Oh, did I mention I'm in first place today?

3. I really dig the Mat Kearney itunes ep. It's just 4 songs but they are 4 of my favorites and they are worth your money.

4. Brynn rolled over for the first time this week. These are bittersweet moments of joy for an accomplishment and a touch of saddness that I'm not ready for my kids to really grow up. At least Ang's beauty is timeless.

Well, hope your Thursday is a good one. I'm a little sad because I just took my last sip of my new Starbucks coffee--the Tarrazu blend from Costa Rica. I recommend it highly. Now get back to work.

Grande Triple Soy Caramel Macchiato

2007-04-27T20:08:00.000-05:00

Yeah, its as good as it sounds. Right now its going down real smooth.

We're back in Johnson City after an enlightening and moderately productive time in Beckley. I feel confident in saying that week is going to rock up there and once the word gets out, people are going to want that week. I don't think we were quite prepared for the "Appalachian Pride" that we encountered at times but it is going to end up being a great, great place with some amazing people.

We fly home tomorrow. I'm really ready to be home. Its been a long week, a lot of meetings and travel and it wears on you after a while. Its exciting to see some of the stuff the crew out here will do this summer. I won't get to be a part of these weeks but I know the groups showing up will make a difference and be blessed by what they do.

I finished Divine Nobodies last night. Solid. I'd recommend it to just about anybody. A good dose of perspective for me. I've jumped into a re-read from Giglio "I Am Not..." They are combining to give me a great deal of peace as I'm reminded just how big God is (no clue on that really) and how insignificant my piece is or can be when I am off point. It has led to some real soul searching and I trust the time of reflection and conversation and my best attempts to be still and know are for a reason.

Right now though, I'm finishing off the drink and anticipating the weekend with my family. It will be the best thing I've done in a long time.

I Think I'm Gonna Pee My Underwear

2007-04-22T22:36:00.000-05:00

What a weekend.

Maybe it was the good weather or maybe it was because I'd been home for a few days but it was a good, good weekend. I took Friday afternoon and we enjoyed a lunch thanks to a gift certificate from my parents and then headed to Lowe's to reinvest some of our tax return in the house.

I spent Friday evening putting up new miniblinds in the downstairs which totally changed the feel of our living room and kitchen. Later that evening our friend Nathan Davenport came by to spend the night on his way to some fundraising for PBT.

Saturday morning started early with a good book, good conversation with Nathan and some good coffee. And and Carter went on a special trip for Saturday morning donuts which thanks to Carter (no, seriously) didn't last the day. It then transpired into one of the best days I can remember in a long time. Lots of work outside, Carter and I mowing the lawn and him helping me with projects in the garage(all sorts of tasks he called "man work") with his newly purchased red and black tape measure. (His part of the tax return, the least we can do for him providing our only child deduction of the year.) It now stays in my tool box right next to daddy's tape measure.

Around lunch time, Carter and I were watching some basketball while I fed Brynn a bottle. Carter and I were finishing off the last donut when Carter asked me, "Daddy, do you know why donuts have holes?" "No" I replied. "Because God wants the to have holes." was his answer. It may not have been a conversation on justification or baptism but it was another sign of how aware of God he's becoming.

After a fulfilling day working around the house as a family, we settled down for a nice relaxing dinner. After dinner Brynn slept, Carter played his leapster and Ang and I played some cards.

Carter ended up having a bath seeing as it was church the next day. He and Ang were sitting on the couch, she was cutting his nails and I had Brynn who was falling asleep after her 5th bottle of the day. Carter was a little ticklish and he and Ang were laughing when he uttered the line of the day. "I think I'm gonna pee my underwear."

It was sometime around there that I realized that a day like that was the best thing about my life. My family, us hanging out, the fact that the joy I felt there and the fun we had was better than anything else. I also realize the more I am around our kids that they are all the beautiful things about us in their purest form. Not that Ang and I are all that beautiful (well, Ang is) but personality, little quirks, sensitive hearts, they are there. Even Brynn in her simple beauty brings a joy we were lacking before. She's at the point where she smiles and giggles, where she watches Carter wherever he goes. It's beautiful.

Carter walks around the house singing songs now. Lately its been the only line from his new Veggietales movie which simply states, "We are the pirates who don't do anything." Beautiful.
He's also learned some lessons from the Lone Stranger, he even quotes a line about how he can't do things by himself but he can do anything with God's help. I find him putting more and more things together and its intimidating but amazing.

I think my favorite moment of the day came after Carter was supposedly in bed for the night. He came back downstairs, I think he didn't like how big his t-shirt was and wanted a smaller one. I got him outfitted to his happiness and was walking out of his room when he left me with this: "Hey dad, do you know what is so cool about when I wake up tomorrow?" "Nope." "We get to go to church!!!"

Could it get any better than almost peeing your underwear and getting to go to church?

Nothing Substantial Here

2007-04-20T10:46:00.000-05:00

Currently Listening To: Mat Kearney: Acoustic EP

I had Starbucks with 2 youth ministers yesterday.

Just that statement fills me with joy.

I really, really like youth ministry. I believe in it.

We need more people who will step up and be great youth leaders. We don’t need more lazy ones who live for events. We don’t need programmers. We need people who minister to and with youth.

I finished my reread of Velvet Elvis last night. I think I enjoyed it more and found better stuff the second time around. I found more I disagreed with and some thoughts that I couldn’t quite wrap my mind around but I like nonetheless.

Here are a couple lines that I’ve been chewing on for the past 24 hours.

“Missions is less about the transportation of God from one place to another and more about the identification of a God who is already there.”

“Your job is the relentless pursuit of who God has made you to be and anything else you do is sin and you need to repent of it.”

This has been a nerve wracking time for me. I hate the registration deadline. I know it’s not all about the numbers but I find myself tying my self worth and ego to how many people like Know Sweat. Some of it is a frustration to me when I sit in people’s living rooms and want to help them but don’t know if enough people will sign up that we can help them.

We were talking in the office the other day about ego. Ego sucks. How we allow ourselves to take the wrong things personally, how we worry so much more about what other people think than even what God thinks. Forget that, we worry more about others than what our spouse might tell us at times.

And somewhere in all this rippling of life, I was reading about a peace that transcends understanding. And I liked that thought.

I started a new book last night that comes recommended from my buddy Wilson. I find that if he recommends a book or a CD, it is usually worth my time. I’ll put it this way, I can’t remember a time he told me to check something out and after doing so I thought I should send him a flaming bag of poo.

It’s about shedding religion to find God.

I’m finding a tension between two thoughts. One is all about numbers. The other is all about maintenance and status quo. Materialism and maintenance. Maybe that is too harsh. I find it in my own personal life.
I have 5 things in my Moleskine right now that are written under the heading “thoughts to explore”. One of them is the last 10 minutes of a sermon I heard recently while I was traveling. One of them is this idea that “perfect love casts out fear.” Actually, that isn’t an idea it’s I John 4:18 which means I need to do more than think about it. I’ve been fascinated by this word fear. What do we really fear and what is fear really all about. And in the midst of this is the challenge of Philippians to live up to what we’ve already attained. Being holy namely.

Right now I’m watching a squirrel dig up my grass. Actually he’s either looking for where he buried nuts last fall or he’s burying some. The way he is acting, I’d say he’s hungry and a little TO’d because he can’t remember where he buried dinner for Thursday night.

I wonder what it would be like to bury nourishment all over the place and then be able to go dig it up when I needed it.

A 100 Calorie Post

2007-04-17T08:25:00.000-05:00

Okay, okay, I know it is time for something substantial. I continue to put out these posts that give you enough that you feel like you read something but nothing that really seems quite worth the time and leaves you wanting more. I vow to leave something of significance at least to me by the end of the week. In the meantime here are a few things I think you should hear.

Last week I was off doing some set up for the St. Louis week. A week I might add that I think is going to be a phenomenal one. Anyway, in the midst of the days I/we had the opportunity to stop at a couple Starbucks. Now, I have to admit to you that one of my favorite things to do at a Starbucks besides order drinks is to check out their bathrooms. Almost every Starbucks out there has a unique bathroom. A lot will use tile, some will have some cool material on the wall, they are always a little dark and mysterious but in a clean way and they always leave me wishing I could go home and renovate a bathroom in our house using the bold colors and free spirited design. Alas, Starbucks is no longer doing this with new locations. They now all come boring with white and beige tiles and paint. The stink. I hope it is not a sign of the new Starbucks. My friends in Quincy tell me they are getting a Starbucks and my hope for them is a colorful and unique bathroom that inspires and doesn’t disappoint or look like a gallon of steamed milk exploded all over the walls.

That may be too violent of a phrase to use when speaking of a bathroom.

On an unrelated note I had an amazing evening that began with sidewalk chalk and coloring on our driveway with the entire family. Ang is such a good mom and amazing wife and little Carter and her drew the CRV with our whole family in it, each color coded to their name written on the sidewalk. The middle of the night was a little disappointing as the unthinkable happened, Pujols up with the bases loaded, 2 outs in the ninth and the Cards down by one. Yeah, that’s not how I remember that playing out.

The Pirates?

We are 1-5 at home this year?

Brynn had a doctors appointment last week. She’s in the 97th percentile of weight—13lbs 1oz. She’s smiling and eating like a little hoss. I can’t wait to see those chubby legs hanging out of shorts this summer. I do fear that Ang and I will develop chronic back problems from carrying her though.

That is all for now. Enjoy the 100 calories.

Ahh, Baseball

2007-04-11T19:49:00.000-05:00

I'm wondering where spring is.

I'm settling nicely into a routine of watching baseball each night. I am such a junkie for this stuff. Currently I'm watching young Felix Rodriguez chuck a no-no in Fenway. I love this.

This week I'm in St. Louis doing set up for the summer. No, the Cardinals are not in town so I'll not be heading down to Busch anytime during this trip.

So, not much to update here, just feel like you need to hear from me. For pictures of the family head over to the lovely Angela's blog.

Other than that, I've moved to a new drink at Starbucks. Cafe con leche with soy. Big fan, better than milk.

I currently reside in first place as I defend my title in the White Castle Sportsmans Association.

I'm finishing re-reading Velvet Elvis and finding it better than the first time.

I wanting to buy the new Nooma's I don't possess.

I'm anxious to find out about my taxes. So is Ang.

Enjoy your Wednesday, it's time to see who's getting voted off American Idol.

Post # 130

2007-03-27T13:44:00.001-05:00

I got lost in a song this morning. I realized I’d told a number of people I’d be praying for them all day and I’d gotten too busy. It was a lot of stuff that seems really big and gives one the opportunity to feel powerless. Which is actually a good thing to embrace and not shun I’m finding. I’ve got the old itunes on a playlist I’m particularly partial to and the timing was just right.
So I haven’t written much lately. Lots has happened. A couple of incredible spring break trips to Dallas and Memphis, my Ducks almost made the Final Four, Carter started playing baseball in the backyard again, Brynn started smiling, Ang continued to be amazing in every way.

I was late getting to the office this morning because I got lost in a great book. I picked up Rob Bell’s most recent book Sex God and its been very good. I stayed up too late last night watching Blood Diamonds which is an incredible movie. I guess that’s about all for me.

This weekend is the draft for the White Castle Sportsman’s Association fantasy baseball league. I am such a geek about the thing but it is just so much fun. Plus this year I get to claim the traveling trophy and will try to defend my title. I wouldn’t hold your breath over the thing but I’m pretty happy about it.

The Queen City

2007-02-21T14:54:00.000-06:00

Ahh, Cincinnati. Home of a criminal football team, a baseball team that dreams of being (or beating) the Cardinals and the finest chilli ever invented.

I'm here for set up, Believe and to get my bearings so I'm not a total moron this summer when Know Sweat rolls in for 5 weeks.

It's been good to see old friends, reconnect with some great projects, meet some new people and start to see the projects for this summer. This is quite honestly the part of the year where I get the most excited. I love the summer, being in the midst of the effort but my personality especially enjoys seeing things in their beginning stages and trying to capture just a glimpse of what God has in store for all of us this summer.

Last evening my travel partner was done in by a fever so I had the opportunity to head over to Newport and enjoyed some quiet times.

I checked out a movie (I think my first in a theater in months--many, many months--like when did the last Lord of the Rings movie come out time frame). I decided upon Breach which is about that shameful spy that hosed the US. I didn't hate myself to check out Norbitt or any of the other painful movies currently showing. I thought the movie was very good, very well done, well casted (even the dude formerly known as Reese Witherspoon's husband was good). I recommend it.

Afterward I headed over to the Barnes and Noble where I enjoyed a Java Chip Frap (the finest drink ever) and a good book The Starbucks Experience . I rather liked it, especially since I finished the thing and didn't actually have to buy it (that's not considered stealing, is it?)

I then headed back to Cincy only to realize I'd left my cell phone in my chair at the bookstore. So, I drove back and found it just where I left it, hooray for honest people.

It was a good evening. Not as fine as sitting on the couch watching American Idol with my family, but better than it could have been.